If jokes

Okay, so I know this is not a joke, but I wanted to take some time to say if you have autism, you are still amazing. You are lovely in every way, and if people bully you, don't listen because they are wrong. You are cute, and I know how it feels. I have ADHD, and I get bullied a lot, but I don't let that get to me because I know what they are saying is wrong and not true. People with autism, stay strong; you got this. I will be your friend by heart, even if it's not in person.

If you mixed the Iraq wheat scandal with the basics card paying other people's dole to your wife and tumble dried it in a royal commission that made your priestly mates look bad, what would you get?

Tony Abbott's career.

You're so poor, if I ever broke into your house, I'd give you things.

Kids in wheelchairs can't stand up for themselves if there's a bully.

How to cure boredom:

If you're bored, punch an orphan. What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?

What do you do if your dick is smoking?

Get your mum to lick it.

"If your enemy is kicking your ass, blame it on the lag."

-- Sun Tzu, The Art of War

"If two sides in a battlefield read my book, there will be no winner."

Sun Tzu, The Art of War.

If an emo kid and the quiet kid had a fight, the quiet kid would win because the emo kid would hang himself to death.

There was a girl called Millie, and she had sexy blond hair, and she wanted to chase me, but I told her she had to catch me first if she loves me.

Imagine if a disabled person's last name was Runner or Walker! 😬😂

Tyler is ugly.

If you are called Tyler, change your name.

What did one saggy boob say to the other saggy boob?

"If we don't get some support soon, people will start to think we are balls."

I only have a few friends, like if you relate.

Based on a true story.

If a woman says she needs to set boundaries between you and her, you would be crossing it if you are a Mexican.

If you're pro-life, I hope you get hit by a bus today!

There was an exam music quiz question about Gary Glitter. Now, if there's anyone you don't want to associate with the phrase "shh, turn over, you've got an hour," it's him.

Shit, my bad. I should leave him alone, he just wants to settle down and have kids.

They say mistakes make you stronger. If that were true, then whoever made that nonexistent thing called “women's rights” would have muscles bigger than a white girl.

What do a pulse and an orgasm have in common?

I don’t care if she has one.

If I don't get a bf by the end of this month, Christmas lights won't be the only thing hanging from the roof.