If jokes
So, if she gargles your cum, is that a jacuzzi daycare?
How do you know a vampire's sick?
If he's coffin (coughing?)
My eggcellent egg yolks crack everyone up.
If you don't like them, you're just hard boiled.
It's funny dating someone smarter than you. My girlfriend knows how to push my buttons but never takes into account what a dick I can be if need be. Let me explain. Say, for example, she calls me retarded, I remind her that she's dating me.
If Canada had to apologise for Bryan Adams on several occasions, it's only fair that Americans are tortured and waterboarded for bringing Katy Perry and Carrie Underwood to the world!
It works, my brother has never slept better
If you're bored, punch an orphan, what are they gonna do, tell their parents?
(To a thief) If you like taking things, how about you take my life?
Roses are red, violets are blue, If I slapped you, that’d be animal abuse.
Has anybody else noticed that out of nowhere there are always tons of people online? It's kinda trippy if I'm being honest.
If vegetarians eat vegetables, what do humanitarians eat?
If she’s old enough to smoke, She’s old enough to choke.
If she’s old enough to pee, She’s old enough for me.
If they made a movie about your sex life, what would it be?
In Afghanistan, it would be "Twelve Years a Slave!" 🤣
A man once ate the left side of a person. One guy watching asked if the guy he was eating was okay. The man eating him said, "No... it's okay, he's all right now."
Don't be sad if you miss a shot when you yell "Kobe." He didn't make it either.
How come lepers don't play cards?
Well, if they lose a couple of hands...
What do a bungee jump and a hooker have in common?
They’re both cheap, fast, and if the rubber breaks, you’re pretty much screwed.
What do you call a chicken staring at a pile of lettuce?
A chicken sees a salad.
(Say it out loud if you don't get it!)
If you're a simp, just remember, it means "Suckers Idolizing Mediocre Pussy."
Warning: if you don't like gummy bears, DO NOT READ.
Q: What do you call a Mexican gummy bear?
A: Delici-Oso
If white people turn black when they char, what happens to the black ones?