If jokes

Green Card

  • An ICE agent tells a Mexican that he can get his green card if he can use green, pink, and yellow correctly in a sentence. The Mexican thinks for a minute and says, "My phone goes green, green, and I pink it up and say yellow."

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  • Boy

  • A black Jewish boy runs home from school one day and asks his father, “Daddy, am I more Jewish or more black?” The dad replies, “Why do you want to know, son?” “Because a kid at school is selling a bike for $50 and I want to know if I should talk him down to $40 or just steal it!”

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  • Parking spot

  • Trying to find a good parking spot is a lot like trying to find a girlfriend.

    If you can’t find one, you stick it in the disabled spot and hope nobody finds out.

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  • Poem

  • My girlfriend's sister told me to write her a poem. This is what I came up with:

    roses are red, violets are blue, if you ever feel alone, I'm always watching you.

  • 1
  • Student

  • I used to be in a special needs class, and the teacher sent a student (if you want to call them that) out to the hall for being late.

    I asked her, "Why did you send James out to the hall?"

    She said, "He was a little tardy."

    I replied to her, "I thought they all were."

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  • Class

  • I used to be in a special needs class, and the teacher sent a student (if you want to call them that) out to the hall for being late.

    I asked her, "Why did you send James out to the hall?"

    She said, "She was a little tardy."

    I asked her, "I thought they all were."

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  • Adoption

  • Son: Dad, I have black skin and you have white skin, are you sure you're my parents?

    Dad: Oh... well I never thought it would come to this, or to your head that you were kidnapped...

    Son: Am I kidnapped?

    Dad: Well, you're adopted, and if you want to see your biological parents, they’ll be waiting for you in heaven.

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