If jokes
How is tightrope walking like getting a blowjob from someone ugly?
If you want to enjoy either, you absolutely canβt look down.
A Roman walks into a bar and asks for a Martinus.
"Don't you mean a martini?" asks the bartender.
The Roman replies, "If I wanted a double, I would have asked for one!"
The only reason why Murrikkkunts think Canada isn't free is because incest is illegal in Canada, in which one can face a sentence as long as 14 years in prison if convicted.
How can a person from Alabama tell that someone is an illegal immigrant?
If they are dating someone that isn't related to them.
This is not a joke, but if your uncle tells you, "Bend over, touch your toes, I'll show you where the monster goes," don't do it, hehehehehe.
Why is it wrong to drive around in a van offering children candy?
Because youβll have more success if you give out video games!
Ms. Smith: Johnny, when I was a little girl, I was told if I made ugly faces, it would freeze, and I would stay like that.
Little Johnny: Well, Ms. Smith, you can't say you weren't warned.
A guy on a bus saw a beautiful girl. He asked for her number, and of course, she said no. He asked the bus driver for advice, and he said, "That girl goes to the cemetery to pray every day at 10 p.m. and look for a statue of an angel." So he dresses up as God, goes to the grave, and she sees him. She says, "Oh, Lord, end my misery! Kill me now!" And he said, "Only if you do something for me first." She replied, "What is it, oh mighty Lord?" He said, "Have sex with me." She agreed. They had sex, and when she was done sucking his dick, he said, "I have something to tell you." He took off his costume and said, "I'm the guy from the bus." And she took off her costume: "I'm the bus driver."
(Does anyone remember this? It's an old joke someone made, or does no one remember this? I didn't make this, but it went smth like this)
If McDonald's is fast food, then Dairy Queen is fast cream.
Person with no arms: Even though I have no arms, I can do anything you guys can.
Me: If you're happy and you know it, clap your hands. ππ If you're happy and you know it, clap your hands. ππ
Person with no arms: ππππππππππππππ
If you leave your small children inside a shower with Kelly Clarkson, you're a filthy parent.
What does broccoli and sex have in common?
If you were forced to have it as a kid, youβre gonna hate it as an adult.
If you've spent less time inside your mother than your father has, you just might be from Alabama!
One day, little Johnny woke up to get a drink of water. He passed by his parents' bedroom and noticed sheets bouncing. He asked his dad what he was doing. He said, "Playing cards." Little Johnny said, "Who is your partner?" Dad said, "Your mom." On his way up, he passed by his sister's room and noticed sheets bouncing around and asked what sheβs doing. She said, "Playing cards with my boyfriend, Paul." The next day, Dad came to ask Johnny a question. The father noticed Johnny was still in bed and asked him what he was doing. He saw the sheet bouncing and asked Johnny what he was doing. He said, "Playing cards." His dad asked him who his partner was. Little Johnny said, "You donβt need a partner if you have a good hand."
What if Game of Thrones and Harry Potter antagonism had a child?
Coldemort!
Roblox Brookhaven be like:
"ABC if you wanna be adopted."
"ABC if you wanna be my friend."
"ABC if you wanna be a banker."
"ABC if you wanna rob the bank."
"ABC if you wanna date."
"ABC if you wanna sex."
If you're fat and transgender, then would you be considered trans fat?
Where can a gay male that is abled bodied find the location of a glory hole if he is looking for a free and anonymous blowjob from another gay male?
From a physically disabled gay male who is either at the gym πͺ πͺ ποΈββοΈ or at the rest area βΏοΈ πΉ π½.
If someone made a comedy routine about Terri Schiavo, would that be considered roasting a vegetable?
If we send more mosquitoes to Africa, we could save more mosquitoes from dying of AIDS.