If jokes
Little Johnny walked into class with a black eye, and the teacher said, "Why do you have a black eye?"
Johnny said, "Well, me and my parents have to share a bed, and my dad asked me if I was asleep and I said no, so he smacked me."
The teacher said, "Well tonight, don't say anything."
The next day, Johnny walked in with another black eye, and the teacher said, "Why do you have another black eye?" Little Johnny said, "Well, last night, I did what you said and didn't say anything when my dad asked me if I was asleep. A few minutes later, my dad said he was coming, and my mom said she was coming too. They usually don't go anywhere without me so I said 'Wait for me, I'm coming too.'"
How do you know if a rapper is hungry?
They start dropping BEATS at the dinner table.
If a dog is white with black spots, then it is 90% great and 10% guilty because it half way starts crimes and is a mistake to the world and is punished by the white dogs that are full white and not mixed colors.
Kelly Clarkson and Ian Watkins of the Lostprophets both walk into a bar. The bartender asked, "Hitting on some 2-year-olds today?" It may have been an innocuous question, if it weren't for the fact that the bartender is Chris Hansen.
If Will Smith could be in any movie, he would be in "Find My Hairline."
I'd make a 9/11 joke, but it wouldn't fly anymore.
And if I tried it, it would probably crash and burn.
It just wouldn't help my comedy career take off.
If a tree could be any animal, what would it be?
Answer: A dog because of its bark lol. 😀
If you're reading this, you are Nickel and Gallium......
Ni- ........*something else in between the two halves*................Ga
YOU FUCKING MONKEYS!
I only cut to find out if I'm real or cake.
Motivational quote for today: if you think you're dumb, you're probably overestimating your intellectual abilities...
Motivational Quote for today: If you're feeling tired and ugly today, cheer up, you probably won't feel tired tomorrow morning...
Why is bacon called bacon and cookies called cookies if you cook bacon and bake cookies?
I asked Daveon if he ever considered trying something new, and he replied "why fix what ain't broke?"
If I had a dollar for every brain cell LEO has, I’d have one dollar.
I complained to my dad why he never took me to the zoo.
He said if they want you, they’ll come get you.
This was a few months ago. I used to help people load and unload inventory. One day I’m driving home after having lunch with my sister, and she asked if we can stop at the next gas station. I told her, "So you can weigh yourself on the truck scale?"
I may not be your cup of tea, but I am definitely your 10th shot of tequila.
If laughter is contagious, Kris's jokes are immunity.
If I agreed with Leo, then that wouldn’t solve anything. It would just make BOTH of us dumb.
If stupidity was a superpower, BlessedBrian would be UNSTOPPABLE!