Idiom jokes
Teacher makes 1 kid recite the ABCs and the other count to 10.
Teacher: You can kill 2 birds with 1 stone.
Little Johnny goes home and throws a rock at two birds. One dies. He gives his dad a concussion from the rock hitting his head.
Johnny at school: You can kill a bird and give a man a concussion.
If wishes were horses, Beggars would ride.
If turnips were watches, I would wear one by my side.
And if if's and an's were pots and pans, The tinker would never work!
"Orange you glad I made it?"
Why didn’t the cat cross the road?
Answer: Because it’s a scaredy-cat.
What do you call a wild cow in a shop with old things?
A bull in a china shop.
"Killed two birds with one stone"? Pfft, I once killed two people with one bullet.
What did the chicken say when he saw a human running around uncontrollably?
"It's running around like a chicken with its head cut off!"
Why do we tell actors to “break a leg?”
Because every play has a cast.
Why was the sun ☀️ mad at the clouds ☁️?
Because the clouds kept throwing shade.
What is the best power that man can do? They can move the mountain with their tongue.
Why did the skeleton start a fight? Because he had a bone to pick.
I dipped my hand in red food dye, so I said, "Looks like I’ve been caught red-handed!"
You can lead a horse to water, but a pencil must be lead.
Why did Jimmy throw his clock out the window? Because he wanted to see time fly.
What's an egg's favorite phrase?
An eggspression.
I broke the sink yesterday; the handle just blew right off! My dad was so mad, he blew his stack!
Why does a movie set say "break a leg"? Because they have a cast.
Q: What do you get when you drop all your potato chips in your couch somewhere?
A: A couch potato. HaHaHa
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Madam.
Madam who?
Madam foot got caught in the door, can you please open it!
What did the chicken say to the turkey?
Nothing, he chickened out!