What is the best power that man can do? They can move the mountain with their tongue.
Why did the skeleton start a fight? Because he had a bone to pick.
I dipped my hand in red food dye, so I said, "Looks like I’ve been caught red-handed!"
You can lead a horse to water, but a pencil must be lead.
Why did Jimmy throw his clock out the window? Because he wanted to see time fly.
I broke the sink yesterday; the handle just blew right off! My dad was so mad, he blew his stack!
Why does a movie set say "break a leg"? Because they have a cast.
Q: What do you get when you drop all your potato chips in your couch somewhere?
A: A couch potato. HaHaHa
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Madam.
Madam who?
Madam foot got caught in the door, can you please open it!
What did the chicken say to the turkey?
Nothing, he chickened out!
I once was sitting outside and watched the birds go by. I checked my watch and said, "My, how time is FLYING by!"
What did the tree say to the kid with a bike? "Take a hike!"
Three men walk into a bar... you would have thought the last one would have ducked.
I fell from the stairs the other day. It really "got me down."
6:30 has to be the best time, hands down.
What do you get when you stuff some cows into a food container?
A can o' bull.
Why did the cowboy die with his boots on??
He didn’t want to stub his toe when he kicked da bucket 😂🤣👌🏻👌🏻.. knee slapper
Make like a drum and beat it!
What did the pot say to the kettle?
"To lick the s*** spoon."
Curiosity killed the cat.
But for a while, I was a suspect.
