I fell from the stairs the other day. It really "got me down."
Idiom Jokes
I still remember the last words my grandpa said before he kicked the bucket. He said, “Hey, how far do you think I can kick this bucket?”
I just found out I'm colorblind. News came out of the purple.
6:30 has to be the best time, hands down.
Why does a movie set say "break a leg"? Because they have a cast.
Why did the skeleton start a fight? Because he had a bone to pick.
What do you tell a depressed person?
Just hang in there!
I still remember the last thing my grandfather said before kicking the bucket: "Hey, wanna see how far I can kick this bucket?"
Why do we tell actors to break a leg?
Cause every play has a cast.
Why was the sun ☀️ mad at the clouds ☁️?
Because the clouds kept throwing shade.
Three men walk into a bar... you would have thought the last one would have ducked.
Do y'all know the saying "Hang in there?" Well, fuck that, because I might as well be hanging myself.
Q: What do you get when you drop all your potato chips in your couch somewhere?
A: A couch potato. HaHaHa
I still remember the last thing Gaster said before he kicked the bucket, it was, "Hey, how far do you think I can kick this bucket?" (Sans)
Call me a worn-out sweater because I’m hanging on by a thread.
That’s about to become a rope around my neck.
Two Canadians die and end up in Hell. Satan decides to pay them a visit, so he walks into their room and sees them talking and laughing. Confused, he asks them why they're happy.
They tell him, "Well, we're so sick of the cold where we're from, and this place is nice and toasty."
Satan, annoyed, storms away and goes to Hell's boiler room, where he turns up the temperature.
He goes back to the Canadians' room, along the way being begged by all sorts of people to put the heating back down. He enters the room to see the Canadians having a barbecue. Furiously, he asks them what they're doing.
"Well, we can't pass up this wonderful weather without getting out the barbecue!"
Satan realizes he's been doing the wrong thing. He goes to the boiler room and turns it down until it's at a colder temperature than ever seen on earth.
He knows he's won now, so he goes back to the Canadians' room, only to see them jumping up and down in excitement.
He shouts at them in fury, "WHY ARE YOU STILL HAPPY?!?!?!"
They look at him and shout at the same time, "Hell froze over! That means the Leafs won!"
Curiosity killed the cat.
But for a while, I was a suspect.
What is the best power that man can do? They can move the mountain with their tongue.
Why didn’t the cat cross the road?
Answer: Because it’s a scaredy-cat.
Why did Jimmy throw his clock out the window? Because he wanted to see time fly.