Idiom jokes
What did Katie say when her house burnt down?
"HOLY SMOKES!"
I tried to make a necrophilia joke, but it was dead in the water.
I'll try not to post jokes about disabled people anymore.
I shouldn't kick a guy when he's Down's.
The cemetery sure is overcrowded today.
I guess people are dying to get in.
What idiot said to Stephen Hawking, "You can't run before you can walk"?
What did Stephen Hawking's mum say to him when he asked for £10?
"You can take a run and jump!"
Stephen Hawking can't walk the walk or talk the talk.
My wife told me to stop impersonating a flamingo. I had to put my foot down.
That's a knee slapper, or should I say, a wheel slapper?
Why are a majority of rape allegations false?
Because whores like to cry wolf.
I am starting a business where I help people count. It is called making the little things count.
I wanted to make a joke about dandruff.
People are still scratching their heads over it.
Steve Jobs would've been a better president than Trump...
But I guess comparing apples to oranges is unfair.
Someone told me I looked gay today. I told him that my clothes just came out of the closet this morning.
Bitches be like, "Read the room."
What genre is that in?
“Life is going swimmingly,”
“Tell that to Whitney Houston.”
Why is it that every time I masturbate, things get out of hand?
I rule my women with an IRON FIST!!
Yeah, literally an iron that my fist is clenching against her face.
I just found out I'm colorblind. News came out of the purple.
What did the booty say when it was asked to help?
"I've got your backside covered!"