Identity jokes

Saint Nicholas is the patron saint of working girls. Call girls. Hookers. Prostitutes. And the association is a long one, going back to the very earliest legends which place St. Nick as a Greek bishop in Myra, Lycia in what is now the Turkish Mediterranean - three centuries after Christ.

Saint Nicholas is notable primarily for giving secretly to the poor, and supposedly the first to benefit were three young ladies whose poor father couldn't afford wedding or dowry to marry them off - destining them instead to a life of prostitution. St. Nick supposedly threw a bag of gold through the window to pay for the wedding but, by the third attempt, the poor father was watching to determine the identity of the anonymous benefactor. Santa outsmarted him by dropping the last bag of coins down the chimney.

So, whenever you see Santa, he always travels with his three favourite sex workers - who seemingly never grow old. On a quiet, still Christmas night you can even hear him call them.

Ho! Ho! Ho! And to all a good night.

Inside a room full of squares, buckets, and tints, there are two inspectors. One is called Mr. Right, the other one is called Mr. Wrong. Because of their names, the first one is trusted more than the second one.

Mr. Wrong eventually got tired of that and worked on a plan for how more people could trust him. He took a jigsaw and he started to cut into his brain and sawed away half of his brain. It was still working.

Then he took a loaf of toast, cut it into half and glued it on his head, and then he made a strawberry cream and sprayed it on the toast. Because people couldn't recognize him as "Mr. Wrong," he was able to solve more cases.

Hi, what's your name?

I don't know, I'm disabled.

Why are transgender people like confused kids?

Because they both don't know what they want to be in life.

What do you call a lesbian dinosaur? Lick-a-lotta-puss.

"Knock, knock." "Who's there?" "Your mother." "Duh!"

Hi, I’m gay.

Why were people not happy before they were part of the LGBTQ+? Because they weren’t gay.

What do you call a gay friend?

Miguel Del Rosario Domingo.

What's black, anorexic, dumb, and will never get a girlfriend?

Me.

There was this guy who asked a girl how much her hand jobs are. "$25k." How much are your blowjobs? "$50k." How much do you charge to have sex on the street? REPLY: "I would if I had a pussy."

мy naмe ιѕ jeғғ.

"Hi, my name is Robert. I have no life. Even my PS4 username is gay lil_bama."

Evan David Sandri is gay and he is adopted.

"Knock Knock"

"Who's there?"

"John."

"John who?"

John broke down into tears as his Mother's Alzheimer's had gotten progressively worse.

Q: Why couldn't the queer wist eating his hot dog?

A: Because it tasted like shit.

We saved a transvestite in a tight mini skirt from a tree.

I thought I showed a lot of balls.

I hate it when people think I'm a boy because I have short hair. I mean, I'm gay, what do you expect?

I have a trans friend.

He is in a polyamorous relationship and would be straight if they had a dick.

What do emo kids scan at the store? Their wrist.