Identity jokes

Question: "You're-a-American" when you're not in the restroom and when you come out of the restroom. What are you when you're in the restroom?

Answer: European (You're-a-peein')

I'm Gay.

Why do you never see gay people in wheelchairs?

You can’t be a fruit and a vegetable at the same time.

Imagine being gay like Joe Mama!

I have a confession. I used to be a Christian.

Don’t bother me none, babe!

Awesome! I much prefer being a Christine!

“Hol up”

What is your name?

My ankle is named Samantha.

What's the difference between a retard and a normal person?

A normal person is not named Josh Wakling.

I always say I'm single, which annoys my wife.

I always felt like a man trapped in a woman's body. But then I was born.

But in my defense, I was young then, and I had a womb without a view.

What do you call a Navajo with a lot of cash?

Johnny Cash.

What did the officer tell the lioness after she said she was a dog?

Oooooooooh girl, you lion!

Ur mom gay, lol.

Hey, dude man. I'm a dude man.

What does the B in Benoît B. Mandelbrot stand for?

Benoît B. Mandelbrot.

Fritz Cheng was asked to write three articles on the subject. He went to his grandmother and advised her: "Question: Kill people! I am sorry, Mr. Fritz, I am looking for his brother—what do you suggest?"

Brother: "I'm Superman. I am Superman!"

Fritz remembers entering the room. That's Alfredo's question in front of the TV: "Do you have any advice?"

Fritz tells a story from his school days. "Remember our words?" said Professor Fleck. "An artist? Is that true? Frison, who are you?"

"I am Superman. I'm Superman," he said. "I hope to meet the president."

I'm straighter than a rainbow.

There was this guy who asked a girl how much her hand jobs are. "$25k." How much are your blowjobs? "$50k." How much do you charge to have sex on the street? REPLY: "I would if I had a pussy."

Inside a room full of squares, buckets, and tints, there are two inspectors. One is called Mr. Right, the other one is called Mr. Wrong. Because of their names, the first one is trusted more than the second one.

Mr. Wrong eventually got tired of that and worked on a plan for how more people could trust him. He took a jigsaw and he started to cut into his brain and sawed away half of his brain. It was still working.

Then he took a loaf of toast, cut it into half and glued it on his head, and then he made a strawberry cream and sprayed it on the toast. Because people couldn't recognize him as "Mr. Wrong," he was able to solve more cases.

Hi, what's your name?

I don't know, I'm disabled.

Why were people not happy before they were part of the LGBTQ+? Because they weren’t gay.