Identity jokes

I am a motherfucker.

MY NAME IS JEFFFFFFFF!

Imagine being named Colby and you burn yourself.

Every time someone calls you a little different, car? Just say, "No, I'm not."

Wife: Honey, I’m pregnant. Husband: Hi Pregnant, I’m dad. Wife: No, you’re not.

Q: What do you call a virgin from Alabama?

A: An orphan.

It's fucked up how people make these jokes, and when orphans read them, it makes them feel worse about themselves. I should know, I'm an orphan.

Me and my emo group were walking down to the tree and somebody yelled, "Don't leave me!"

One time I looked out the window and then I saw my sister, and she wasn’t even my sister anymore...

Knock, knock? Who's there? A mirror, I'm lonely.

What happened to the man who turned into a pistachio?

He became a shell of who he once was.

The name is Doe, Dilbert Doe. You can call me Dil.

Why can't I be gay? I have nobody to call "daddy."

You are the gayest.

What do you call a failure in another language?

Me.

My mom said that being straight is good, but if you're straight, how do you walk? So I decided to be gay.

I am Araf, and I am clumsy.

What shouldn't you ask an emo?

"Do a wrist reveal."

What do girl emos and boy emos have in common?

1. They both want to die.

2. They both cut to die faster.

3. They both listen to emo songs.

4. They like "I wanna die" song/"Miss wanna die."

How do emo kids compliment each other? They say, "I like your cuts, G!"