Identity jokes

Here is a story, my best friend was Chinese, his name was Chong-king. I took him to a restaurant one day and he said, "I am Chong-king." I said I know your name is Chong-king, within a few minutes he just randomly died making weird noises and turning blue by every second.

Anyone know what happened?

So one day, I took a trip to Russia and saw Vladimir Putin walking in the streets without any bodyguards. Seeing as how I looked just like him, we switched places for a few days.

After two days, some officer came up to me and asked if we were going to project блять, and I said yes, and the officer said, "God help us."

So a day later, I heard on the news that every other continent and the moon were destroyed. I then approached the officer and said, "I thought you meant we were having a giant orgy." He said, "We did, and that we were extremely drunk."

It's really funny, read through everything slowly.

Say "I'm a man" after everything I say.

I went to the bar. "I'm a man." You saw this woman. "I'm a man." You guys married. "I'm a man." You guys bought a house. "I'm a man." You guys went to bed. "I'm a man," you said. "I'm a man," she said. "I'm a man."

What do you get when you put a clown, a peodophile, a gay wet person?

Answer: YOUR DAD

I knew a girl called Melissa, but she was a tranny, and he could suck his own dick.

What do you call me?

Chinese?

Cool kid: I slept with your sister.

Me: Never knew my brother was a girl.

Everyone else: :O

"Ur mum gay..."

Sorry wrong person.

How did Peter Parker get caught as Spider-Man?

Well, he weaved a really tangled web, and Aunt May saw it.

What do you call a homosexual in a coma?

A fruit and a vegetable!

What do you call a flat emo girl?

A cutting board.

How can you tell if a white homophobic heterosexual man with bisexual tendencies is a Christian nationalist?

He gives anonymous blowjobs to men regardless of their sexual orientation.

A girl said, "Suck my dick," and the man went, "I have boobs."

Why does God hate me?

Because I'm a gay minority who fights for women's rights.

You're gay, except it...

What do you call a gay person who is gay but just can't admit it? A Filipino.

When your girlfriend tells you she's a guy: "What, bitch? Naw, hell no!"

I thought of telling my teachers that I am transgender so I get to wear my AirPods in class.

You're gay!

How do Asians name their kids? They drop spoons and forks down the stairs. Chin Chan Chon.