Identity jokes

Hey guys, it's Hailey here.

I'ma start off with henlo ;-;

I know you guys aren't going to believe me because of the assholes who were faking to be me, but if you can try to believe me, I'll explain.

So, Jake, we can't really be together anymore, since we no longer can chat. I'm so sorry.

Basically, my parents caught us on here as you realized. Yayyyy.

I don't have time to say anything else. So I've gotta go, but thankyou guys for everything you did for me.

Also, you won't get any response from me so yea. So sorry guys ;-;

Why did the orphan become a prostitute?

They wanted somebody to call "daddy."

I am really gay. I just needed to confess this.

A guy goes to Starbucks and asks, "Hey, if I can make you laugh, I don’t have to pay." The girl in the window says, "Okay." The guy says, "A little boy named Timmy lost his arms." The girl says, "Oh no!" The guy says, "And his dad left him when he was 4." The girl says, "Uhh yeah." The guy says, "Okay, I guess I’ll be paying then." The girl asks, "Okay, and what name will that be under?" The guy says, "Timmy, I’m Timmy."

Guy 2 whispering: Oh, I got tired of acting gay.

Guy 1: I heard you. Why are you acting gay?

Guy 2: To attract gays and then give them advice.

Guy 1: So what's your advice to me?

Guy 2: That I just know you're gay.

LOL xD

When I was a kid, my hamster died, so my mum bought a new identical one, hoping I wouldn't notice. It didn't matter anyway, since I beat that one to death, too.

Remember that you're unique, just like everyone else.

Did you hear that Michael Jackson changed his name from Michael Smith? Well, at least he's honest.

A young teen was walking home from school and having a nice day.

She gets home, eats, showers, and heads to her room. The young teen hears her mother say something. Not sure what she said, the girl replies with "ok."

The young teen was gonna head to bed, wondering when her mom was gonna come in and say goodnight. She lays in bed, but then she hears her mom's voice say, "Hunny, I'm home." She doesn't bother to say ok.

Later, when she decides to sleep, she gets a message from her mom saying to unlock the door, that she lost her keys. :)

Louis Day is Steven Hawkins' identical twin.

Gay.

What is the difference between emo grass and normal grass?

Emo grass cuts itself.

Moxxie: ThEy CaLlEd Me A pOsSuM!! i'M nOt A pOsSuM!!

I'm illegal.

I went to the store the other day and scanned an emo's arm.

It gave me a discount!

The second coming came and went. Jesus believed he was a Christian; therefore, he could never be himself.

Why can't gay people have hairlines? Because it's not straight.

Dad: Son, you're adopted.

Son: Oh wow, I wonder who my real parents are.

Dad: We are your real parents. Your adopted parents are coming to pick you up.

What do LGBTQ+ people use as a weapon in THG (The Hunger Games)?

A rainbow.

What color would the confetti be at a baby shower in 2025?

Orange because they're having a they/them baby.