Identity jokes

Why did Susie fall off the swing? Because she didn’t have any arms.

Knock, knock. Who’s there? Not Susie.

Roses are red, the sky is blue, what do you do? Oh, never mind, I'm not homo like you.

All the lines on the LGBT flag are straight.

Roses are red, violets are blue,

Your brother is gay, and so are you.

Once a cheetah, always a cheetah.

Sally fell off the swing.

Sally has no arms.

Knock, knock.

Who's there?

Not Sally.

My name is what orphans can never have.

What is the difference between a cow and me?

Nothing.

How are genders different than the Twin Towers?

There are two genders.

Best friend *holds a sign up that says "what gender are you?"*

Me: Uh, male?..

Best friend *then unfolds paper so it reads "what gender are you attracted to?"*

Me: You silly goose.

*Silence for like three seconds*

Me: Still male though-

They say people are 75% water.

But I’m 75% an orphan and 25% useless.

Why can't orphans have sex?

They don't know who daddy is.

I asked my new girlfriend how many men she’d had before me.

She said not to worry, she could count them all on one hand.

Unfortunately, this was when I noticed she’s holding her cell phone with a calculator app open. I took note of her wallet inside a picture of what appeared to be 10 guys. I asked and she said that’s my fam as well. I noticed an Alabama driver's license. I asked which one was her dad. She said that she doesn’t talk to him anymore because he had sex with the boss’s daughter. I casually asked what he did for work. Self-employed? She said that’s the last time I use ancestry.com!

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Two gay lovers find out they are brothers.

Why do I tell bad jokes?

I'm a lesbian.

The previous joke was by Sebastian Wittrock, but he put Miguel Roberts as the name.

When you send a dick pic and she sends one back,

I'm glad mine is the biggest, so I get to fuck my dad again.

Why is an orphan gay? Because they can call somebody "daddy."

Your dick is so small they thought you were a girl when you came into the world.

"Knock, knock."

"Who's there?"

"Not."

"Not who?"

"Not your dad."