Identity

Identity Jokes

Orphan

They say people are 75% water.

But I’m 75% an orphan and 25% useless.

Gender

Best friend *holds a sign up that says "what gender are you?"*

Me: Uh, male?..

Best friend *then unfolds paper so it reads "what gender are you attracted to?"*

Me: You silly goose.

*Silence for like three seconds*

Me: Still male though-

Ancestry.com

I asked my new girlfriend how many men she’d had before me.

She said not to worry, she could count them all on one hand.

Unfortunately, this was when I noticed she’s holding her cell phone with a calculator app open. I took note of her wallet inside a picture of what appeared to be 10 guys. I asked and she said that’s my fam as well. I noticed an Alabama driver's license. I asked which one was her dad. She said that she doesn’t talk to him anymore because he had sex with the boss’s daughter. I casually asked what he did for work. Self-employed? She said that’s the last time I use ancestry.com!

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  • Lover

    Roses are red, Violets are blue, Two gay lovers find out they are brothers.

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  • Homo

    Roses are red, the sky is blue, what do you do? Oh, never mind, I'm not homo like you.

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  • Dad

    "Knock, knock."

    "Who's there?"

    "Not."

    "Not who?"

    "Not your dad."

    Dick

    Your dick is so small they thought you were a girl when you came into the world.

    Gender

    Me on my way to the principal's office after the trans kid told me to act my age, so I told him to act his gender.

    Dick pic

    When you send a dick pic and she sends one back,

    I'm glad mine is the biggest, so I get to fuck my dad again.

    Name

    The previous joke was by Sebastian Wittrock, but he put Miguel Roberts as the name.

    Dad

    Someone came to me and said, "Your dad is gay." I just said, "Wait. You know where my dad is? Please tell me!"

    Victim

    I had sex with twins. Well, I think it was twins. All my rage victims look alike.