A conman, a mentally handicapped person, and a Russian spy walk into a bar.
And the bartender asks, "What will it be, Mr. President?"
Identity Jokes
What do you call a non-binary person that is lactose intolerant?
Non-buy dairy.
What's a benefit of being an orphan?
No one makes yo mama jokes to you.
How are you and an orphan similar?
Both of your fathers are invisible.
I was on the train today and saw a cow on it.
It was quite strange until I realized it was Alfie's mum.
What do you call a person with no arms or legs at your front door? Mat.
"Explain bear is a homosexual, confirmed."
Why did Severus Snape cross the road wearing an invisibility cloak?
So no one would know what side he was on.
Son: Dad, I have black skin and you have white skin, are you sure you're my parents?
Dad: Oh... well I never thought it would come to this, or to your head that you were kidnapped...
Son: Am I kidnapped?
Dad: Well, you're adopted, and if you want to see your biological parents, they’ll be waiting for you in heaven.
This bunny named Mason came up to a bar and ordered a beer and a burger. He sits at a table and the waiter brought a huge burger.
Mason: "Heh. Good thing I eat like a horse." He looks up at the waiter.
Waiter: "You are a nasty little bunny, aren't you?"
Mason screamed and ran away as the waiter chased him... she was a HORSE.
I was walking down the street when I saw my ex-girlfriend, so I fucked her. Turns out it was her identical twins that she never told me about.
And I decided to confront her. So I did the next time I saw her, but this time it was her identical triplet. There are 3 of them...
AND SHE NEVER BROUGHT THAT UP IN THE 7 YEARS I WAS DATING HER!
What is white, black, and blue all at the same time?
Barack Obama.
Quin loves Robin. All he says is "Robin." This isn't a joke; Quin's gay.
If I had a dollar for every gender, I would have 2 dollars and a bunch of counterfeits.
What does LGBTQ+ mean? Is it the premium version of GAY?
What did the skeleton say to the genderless child? "You're fucking dead, mate."
Jack and Jill went up the hill so Jack could lick Jill's candy.
Jack got a big shock with a mouth full of huge cock, because Jill's real name is Randy, and she had no candy, just he gave Jack a handy.
What do you call a black person with a pride flag? A Cosmic Brownie.
MOM: Honey, I'm pregnant.
DAD: Hi, Pregnant, I'm Dad.
MOM: No, you're not.
Why can't orphans be gay?
They don't have a closet to come out of.
