Hygiene jokes
My friend is gonna release an air strike. There has to be at least 20 confirmed toilet kills.
Why did the robber take a shower before his robbery?
So he could make a clean getaway!
What did the mouse say after its bath?
"I feel squeaky clean!"
Here is a funny little prank I did on my sister. So she was in her room when she reached to get her shampoo, cause you know girls and hair, when she went to squeeze it out, it came out oil, toothpaste, chicken breast, barf, and onions! SHE PUT IT IN HER HAIR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! GROSS BUT FUNNY!
When she got to school she heard kids laughing at her cause the prankster did it again!
Later!
Lynx: For that cheap teenage smell of desperation.
What's long, hard, and slimy?
A bar of soap.
61, 62, 63, 64, 65, 66, 67, 68, 69... mouthwash.
Bro, you teeth are so yellow that you can't brush your teeth.
My mom wanted me to brush my hair.
And I just told her that even pet animals don't like their hair brushed...
My autistic son hates taking baths or showers.
I don’t blame him, I don’t like soggy vegetables either.
Just shit my pants and it ran all down my legs... last time I eat at Popeyes.
I told my sister that when you go to bed with an itchy butt, you're going to have smelly fingers in the morning, and I've never heard her laugh so hard in my life.
A, B, C, E, F, G. You smell like a baby. Maybe you should not be "Hati-ey."
Your computer just went in my bathroom and took a shit because you put too much chili in the bowl.
Did you just fart a minute ago in the dumpster? I can tell you probably had a mud burrito for breakfast.
I just took an orange soda bath this morning. The next thing I knew, it turned out to be a river of Orange Crush.
This morning I woke up, then took a bath with some chocolate mud. At first, when I turned the damn flossers on, I noticed it wasn't water. It was all chocolate mud, and now my body is all chocolatey.
Why couldn't the toilet paper cross the road? Cause it got stuck in the crack.
*If you don't get it, it got stuck in the butt crack.*
Keep the planet clean. It's not Uranus.
I told my therapist you are too fat and ugly to date grown men. Then she asked me, "You wanna give a judgemental reaction about that?" I said, "Okay, you smell rat pee on somebody's cock."