Why is Helen Keller's snatch always sore?
She wipes with a Brillo pad.
I pooped in a bottle and stuck my finger through it.
I took some of the boo boo out, licked it, and rubbed it on a wall, making a BOO BOO portal. I jumped into it and I saw BOO BOO LAND. I rolled all in the chunk poop and drank the diarrhea.
You don't usually see strap-hangers carrying newspapers these days.
But one guy with the New York Times is seen getting on a crowded F Train. He notices a single seat not taken. Suspicious, he gets closer and sniffs it out. The seat is discolored but dry. Throwing caution to the winds, he removes a section from the paper and sets it down to buffer the spot from his behind. He sits down, stretches his feet and yells out: "Try sitting on your smartphones, suckers!"
What's the hardest part of eating bald pussy? Pulling the diapers back up when you're done!
Dirty Joke: A boy fell in the mud.
Clean Joke: He took a bath with bubbles.
Dirty Joke: Bubbles was the girl next door.
Poopies in my undies.
The toilet having an argument with the toilet paper, the owner of the house had diarrhea, who's day was more shittier!?
If there is a hair, the meat is ruined.
Yeah, she called me "Pledge" because I knocked the dust off it.
Why do women wear makeup and perfume?
Because they're ugly and smell bad.
Why is Johnson's baby shampoo the best lubricant for anal sex?
- No more tears.
Why is Fairy's washing up liquid the best form of lubricant for anal sex?
No more tears.
What do butts say?
"Help me, I'm getting wiped clean!"
Your butt is so fat, I can remove 90% of beauty with a tissue.
Toilet paper cried across the road.
What did the kid say to the toilet?
"Did you order a number two because I got one ready for you?"
A child asks his father, "How do you get pink eye?"
Son, I was told it’s from scratching your butt, then rubbing your eyes.
Then the son asks, "How did I get Fungi?" As the father was about to answer, the boy says, "Ohh, so is it from scratching my stinky feet, then rubbing my eye?" ———-Fungeye
What did the bottle of conditioner do on the toilet?
Shampoo.
Nobody knows how bad you smell.
How many dead babies does it take to clean my refrigerator?.....it gotta be more than 4 because the fridge is still dirty.
