Hygiene jokes
Adam and Eve were sitting on the beach one day, and Eve says to Adam, "Let's go for a swim." Adam replies, "I'm not in the mood."
She says, "Okay, I will go by myself." She puts her toes in the water and splashes around and says, "The water is beautiful, come in!" Adam replies, "Na, still not in the mood."
Eve wades into the water until she gets to her waist. Adam jumps up and yells at Eve standing waist deep and says, "Oh no, now all the fish are gonna smell like that!"
Why do tampons have strings? So you can floss your teeth when you’re done eating.
What do your underwear and the Starship Enterprise have in common?
They are both concerned about “Klingons near your anus”.
What do you call James Bond in a bathtub?
Bubble 007.
You smell like a monkey, and you might have to take a shower, pu.
So uh, I did this thing where I put soap on my brother's toothbrush, and then I put more on and colored it to make it look like toothpaste, and uh, he is constipated now. I AM EVIL :3
In Alabama... How do you know your sister is having periods? Your dad's penis tastes like blood.
Why did an Indian cross the road?
To take a shit.
My friend is gonna release an air strike. There has to be at least 20 confirmed toilet kills.
Why did the robber take a shower before his robbery?
So he could make a clean getaway!
What did the mouse say after its bath?
"I feel squeaky clean!"
Here is a funny little prank I did on my sister. So she was in her room when she reached to get her shampoo, cause you know girls and hair, when she went to squeeze it out, it came out oil, toothpaste, chicken breast, barf, and onions! SHE PUT IT IN HER HAIR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! GROSS BUT FUNNY!
When she got to school she heard kids laughing at her cause the prankster did it again!
Later!
Lynx: For that cheap teenage smell of desperation.
What's long, hard, and slimy?
A bar of soap.
61, 62, 63, 64, 65, 66, 67, 68, 69... mouthwash.
Bro, you teeth are so yellow that you can't brush your teeth.
My mom wanted me to brush my hair.
And I just told her that even pet animals don't like their hair brushed...
My autistic son hates taking baths or showers.
I don’t blame him, I don’t like soggy vegetables either.
Just shit my pants and it ran all down my legs... last time I eat at Popeyes.
I told my sister that when you go to bed with an itchy butt, you're going to have smelly fingers in the morning, and I've never heard her laugh so hard in my life.