Humor
Abner’s wife was laying on her death bed. She suddenly used all her strength to sit up and say to her husband, “I must tell you something, or my soul will never know peace. I have been unfaithful to you, Abner. In this very house, not one month ago.”
“Hush, dear,” soothed Abner. “I know all about it. Why else have I poisoned you?”
POV: You liked this joke because you're straight.
What happens when Stephen Hawking dies?
The Windows shutdown sound plays.
Your forehead is so big, Mastermind got jealous.
Why were 6 scared of 7? Because 7 8 9. Then why was 10 afraid? Because it was between 9/11.
What do you think was going through the heads of the 9/11 victims on floor 43? Floor 44 💀💀
Mr Bean Meme
What do you call a Chinese man in the heat?
Boi Ling.
Mum: If your friend jumped off a cliff, would you?
Me: Oh yeah, no doubt my friend wouldn't even have to jump first.
what did the banana say to the banana?
"u look a-pealing"
Where did Sarah go after the bombing?
Everywhere. 💀
Just all us depressed people joking about our depressed lives, we should hang out sometime.
Communist jokes aren't funny unless everyone gets them.
Where's a cannibal's favorite place to eat?
Chili's, because they got them baby back ribs.
What is a pedophile's favorite job?
The mall santa.
Life would be so much easier if grass was emo.
Because it would cut itself.
What is a cannibal's favorite food?
Crackers.
September 11, bring your plane to work day.
What do you call a redneck on fire?
A fire cracker.
What's black, white, and red all over? A penguin in a blender.
What's all fuzzy, warm, and laughing? The person who snapped its neck and put it into the blender.
A blonde girl walks into a gym and sees a guy. The guy takes off his shirt, she says, "Oh, what chest!" "That's 100 lbs of dynamite, baby," he replies. Then he takes off his pants, she says, "Oh, what legs!" He says, "That's 100 lbs of dynamite, baby." After that, he took off his underwear. The blonde girl starts running. He catches her and says, "Why were you running?" She said, "I didn't wanna be in there once I've seen how small the fuse was."
Yo mama so fat, she wears Orion's belt!