Humor
A blonde, a redhead, and a brunette were stuck on an island, and the closest populated island was 100km away. So in turn, they try to swim to the island. The brunette swims 10 km then drowns. The redhead swims 30 km then drowns. The blonde swims 50 km then gets tired so she swims back.
Is buttcheeks one word?
Or should I spread them?
"Chuck? How many push-ups can you do?" -- "All of them."
Kobe Bryant jokes just don't really fly well now.
How can you tell when a cabbage is boiled?
The wheelchair floats to the top.
Why can't skeletons play church music?
Because they have no organs.
Guy: "My life is like a game, I should end it."
Guy 2: "Is it a hard life?"
Guy: "Yup"
Guy 2: "Then you can't kill yourself LOL"
Guy 3: "Hold on, I know a cheat code to finish the 'game'"
Once again, RIP Daniel Kyre, he actually died this day five years ago.
He attempted suicide Sep 16, and was in life support, till his parents made the tough decision of taking him off.
We will miss ya bud..... (cyndagoooooooo)
What do you call disabled people in a hot tub? -- Vegetable soup.
There was a wedding so sad that even the cake was in tiers.
When you're the only one nice to the quiet kid.
Kid: "I like you... don't go to school tomorrow."
What did the suicidal leprechaun say?
"Irish I was dead."
So, my sister is a feminist. I asked her, "Do you want to hear a rape joke?" She said no. I still decided to force one down her throat anyway.
I saw a sign that said “Watch for children” and I thought, “That sounds like a fair trade.”
I don't like these Undertale jokes. They just don't make any sense.
If you don't like my suicidal jokes, sorry man, didn't know it cut that deep.
Just all us depressed people joking about our depressed lives, we should hang out sometime.
What do you do when you get locked outside your house? You talk to the lock, because communication is key.
What's harder than steel? Michael Jackson at a playground.
Wife: "How would you describe me?"
Husband: "ABCDEFGHIJK."
Wife: "What does that mean?"
Husband: "Adorable (A), beautiful (B), cute (C), delightful (D), elegant (E), fashionable (F), gorgeous (G), and hot (H)."
Wife: "Aw, thank you, but what about IJK?"
Husband: "I'm just kidding!"
What's the difference between drugs and kids?
I don't sell drugs.