Humor

I told a 9/11 joke to my friends today.

It didn't land well.

What do you call a blond with half a brain? Gifted.

You failed Helen Keller's speech class? It's okay, she's not a very good speaker.

Why does Elmo turn emo? Because he's Elmo emo.

Dark humor is like life:

Not everyone gets it.

Yo mama so ugly, she went to a fat concert and they said no experts allowed! 😂

Yo momma is so dumb that she couldn't even get three words into this joke. Maybe that's why she gave it a thumb's down...

Girl, is your butt made of water, because it is tubig?

Roses are red... blood is too... I wonder how blood would look on you.

I ate the last of my Egyptian food, and now I falafel. I don't know why I made that joke. Probably just becuscus.

I bullied a kid in a wheelchair. I told him to stand up for himself.

What was Stephen Hawking's favorite childhood song?

The wheels on the chair go round and round.

Why did the chicken cross the road?

To Mario.

Why were the 1800s so crazy?

Because of Hairriet Tubman.

I only made so it's the 69th in the hair category.

A boy walks into class with a shirt, pants, underwear, and socks. The teacher says, "Where have you been?" The boy says, "On a peach hill."

Another boy walks in with a shirt, pants, underwear, and socks. The teacher says, "Where have you been?" The boy says, "On a peach hill."

Then a girl walks in, and the teacher says, "And where on earth have you been?" The girl says, "Well, you see..." Then the teacher stops her and says, "Let me guess, on a peach hill?" The girl says, "No, on 2 big cucumbers."

When you tell an Asian kid it’s raining cats and dogs and he’s like, “Just open your mouth and close your eyes!”

So I went to a church and I asked a friend, "Is the picture on the wall Jesus, and does it have three nails or one nail?" Oh wait, that's not Jesus, he is not doing the T pose that he invited.

Why can’t orphans have phones?

Because it has a home button!

More random keyboard words made into sentences:

This was a joke that was made by someone who had never been to the game before, but who was the first person to make it into a game of game with the intention of being able to play the first person who played it.

I find that a lot of butts CRACK me up.