Humor
My biggest joke: I’d show you, but I don’t have a mirror to show you.
Your forehead is so big that it was used as a billboard.
The quiet kid's dad dies. You go, "Knock knock."
"Who's there?"
"Not your dad."
Then he says, "What comes after 47?"
The quiet kid says, "AK."
What do you call a white man sandwiched between two black men in a blue sleeping bag?
An Oreo.
What did The Notorious B.I.G. say to the cow?
- MOO MONEY MOO PROBLEMS
no fucking goddamn way
Your mama so fat, she walked by a TV and missed eight episodes.
Did you?
Why is the eagle a bird with many skills? Because it’s talon-ted!
What's the biggest problem with gravity?
It keeps putting people down.
"Discuss the synopsis of this poem: My Friend Billy Has A Ten-Foot Willy."
"My dick fell off in the shower!" suddenly a bright flash of white lights. You see God smiling at you. "Joseph, where is your wiener, little one?" He says, chuckling lightly.
Hey guys, how was your day?
If you ask me the same question, here's the answer: depressing.
I still haven't made any friends on this app. All I do is read and comment on old jokes or opinions.
What’s the name of the band in the gay bar?
A: Beers for Queers.
What does the cross guard say to the cows crossing the road?
Mooooooooooo along!
Why did the cowboy put his bunk in the fireplace?
'Cause he wanted to sleep like a log!
Husband: Hey honey, words can’t describe how beautiful you are.
Wife: Aww, thanks.
Husband: But numbers can. 0 out of 10.
What do you call a Russian pharmacist?
"Ivan Astichestykov."
It was so cold out today believe it or not, I saw a politician with his hands in his own pockets!
Thanks to an unfortunate typo, it's the most one-sided action movie ever.
Alen vs. Predator.
Q. What do you call a bear with no teeth?
A. A gummy bear.