Humor
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Ligma.
Ligma who?
Ligma bum crack!
Other girls want a guy who is 6ft, but does me being 6ft under count?
#NoMoreOrphanJokes
Your mum sat on a phone, and she turned it into a pancake.
These two cannibals are sitting by the campfire having dinner. One says, "I can't stand my mother-in-law." The other says, "So, just eat the potatoes."
I finished all the memes
My cousin called me ugly.
Well, I'm pretty sure 90% of her looks could be wiped away with a Kleenex.
"Hey, man, do you have any Ben and Jerry's?"
"Yeah, I have two of them, fresh and preserved in the freezer."
"I meant the ice cream, bro..."
I like my coffee the way I like jokes about my coffee, I don't.
Where did Tanner go during the 9/11 terrorist attack?
Everywhere.
It was so cold out today believe it or not, I saw a politician with his hands in his own pockets!
My dad’s nickname for me is ‘Tiger’.
Now, my wrists look like a tiger.
Chuck Norris destroys the yo mama!
What do you call a gay drive-by?
A fruit roll up.
What do you call a terrorist in a wheelchair? A TANK!
Why does Michael Jackson like twenty-eight year olds?
'Cause there are twenty of them.
What do you call a dinosaur with a cowboy hat and cowboy boots?
A Tyrannosaurus Tex.
If you were a room in my house, I’d make you the basement.
So I could put kids inside you.
There was a family, the father's name was Mad, the mother is Brain, the brother's name is Nobody and the sister's name is Everybody.
One day, Nobody killed Everybody, and the father ran to the police's office and screamed, "NOBODY KILLED EVERYBODY!!!!!"
"Sir, are you okay?" The police asked.
"I said, NOBODY KILLED EVERYBODYYYYY!!!!!" The father yelled even louder.
"Are you mad?" The police asked.
"Yes, because my name is Mad!" The father exclaimed.
"Where's your brain?" Asked the police.
"At home because my wife name is Brain," the father said. The police fell down due to the confusion.
Why are school shooting jokes so funny? Answer: The bullets hit your funny bone!
What has a heart but no organs?
A deck of cards!