Humor
Krusty nut
I was drinking a martini when a waitress yelled, "Do you know CPR?"
I replied, "I know the entire alphabet!" We all laughed and laughed, well, except one person.
Why are orphans bad at dad jokes?
Because they don't have a dad to tell them.
Q: Where do you bury the people killed in 9/11?
A: It's already done for you.
Jack: Hey Josh!
Josh: What?
Jack: Sex!
Josh: Huh?
Jack: SEX!!
Josh: I don't get it.
Jack: Exactly ;)
What would an orphan call a family picture? A self-ie.
Me: Says to kid at adoption center, "You're adopted!"
Me and kid: hug.
Thought this site needed a little bit of nice jokes.
The man walks into a bar, reaches into his pocket, and pulls out a tiny piano and a tiny piano player. The piano player starts playing the piano. The guy next to him asks where he got that. The man says there is a genie out on the corner granting wishes.
So the man sitting next to him jumps up and runs outside. He says to the genie, "I want a million bucks." The genie snaps his fingers, and a million ducks appear in the road. The man comes back inside and says, "Hey, that genie is a little hard of hearing." The man says, "Well, did you really think I'd ask for a 12-inch pianist?"
If Bruce Willis (the guy in the Christmas movie Die Hard) dies of a Viagra overdose, would that mean he truly dies hard?
Why didn't Stephen Hawking ever eat chicken wings? Because he didn't exist.
What do you call it when someone fucks shoe inserts?
Orthopediphilia.
Line (DYM 105)
Why are these jokes bad?
They're literally the worst jokes ever.
Me: Do you like smash?
Friend: Smash Rolls?
Me: No, Smash DEEZ NUTS!
Friend: AHHHHH (*moans)
Why did Sally fall off the swing? "Why?" 'Cause she had no arms.
Why did Sally drop a broom? "Why?" 'Cause she had no arms.
Why did Sally go swimming? She didn't like not having arms.
Knock knock. "Who's there?" Not Sally, she hasn't come back yet.
If you were a booger, I'd pick you first.
What does an orphan say after a kid makes a "yo mama" joke?
"I don’t have a mama."
I make gay jokes because I am a gay joke.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Joem.
Joem who?
Joem Ama.
Why shouldn't you write with a broken pencil? It's pointless.