Humor
Your forehead is deeper than the ocean.
A man from Brooklyn is arguing with an Englishman. He says things like,
"It's an elevator, not a lift!"
and
"It's a bathroom! Not 'washroom'!"
He keeps going on until the Englishman says,
"Hey wanker, it's a school, not a god damned shooting range."
Fart jokes are so popular because they are real stinkers.
Yo mama is so ugly, she is the reason Slenderman has no eyes.
You know why morning food digests so quickly.
Because it breaks fast.
Helicopters...
Chuck: That's my sister, mister, and I'm gonna save her!
Red: snooore, snoooore
Silver: *straining to get outta buff eagle's grip*
Chuck: *goes super sonic speed and breaks outfit*
Chuck VS RED
Both LOSE!
I saw an orphan on the road. I asked him if he's an orphan. The kid says, "Yeah, what gave it away?"
I say, "Your parents."
What do you get when you cross a rooster with a small dog?
A Cock-a-POODLE-Doo!
Do you wanna hear a joke about vegetables? Never mind, it's too corny.
"Hey, man, do you have any Ben and Jerry's?"
"Yeah, I have two of them, fresh and preserved in the freezer."
"I meant the ice cream, bro..."
When I saw you, it instantly made me cry. LOL.
What do you call an annoyed octopus?
Octopissy.
Haha joke haha!
Me: You have terrible jokes.
Mum: Shows me a mirror.
It puts a whole new spin on meals on wheels. No pun intended.
Why did the tangerine copy off other people's work?
Because the tangerine was unORANGEinal!
Your dad? Oh wait, you don’t have that!
Why are nuts on boys?
Doctor: You should stop masturbating.
Me: Doc, I'm almost done.
How do you talk to giants? Using big words.