Humor

What is the difference between a rapist and a dictionary?

One of them knows the definition of no.

A man walks into a bar. He takes a seat and asks the barman if he wanted to hear a blonde joke. The barman replies, "Before you tell this joke, I want to tell you something. See the woman over there? She is a black belt in karate, she's blonde. See the bouncer over there? He is also a blonde. See the chick over there with that pool cue? She is also blonde. Also, I have a shotgun behind the bar. I'm blonde. So do you still want to tell your joke?" He replies, "F**k that. I ain't explaining the joke 4 times."

Asian pregnancy test: Stick a Rubik cube into vagina. Wait 30 seconds, if it's solved then there's a little Asian in there.

How do you get an emo out of a tree?

Cut the rope.

Do gay midgets come out of the cabinet?

Why is the leaning tower of Pizza leaning?

It has better reflexes than the twin towers.

"Knock knock."

Orphan: "Who's there?"

"Not your parents."

What do you call a blind dinosaur? Do-you-think-he-saurus.

Why can a gay man give a better brojob to a heterosexual man than another heterosexual man?

Experience.

What’s the difference between my lawn and my wrists?

Nothing, I cut both of them.

What do you call a man off the ground?

Hanged.

Yes, I'm CUTE.

C-ringe U-gly T-errible E-mpty.

There's a movie about constipation. It hasn't come out yet.

A brother and a sister always got into fights. One day the brother tells the sister, "You're adopted!" The sister yells back, "At least they wanted me!"

How are school shooting victims and school shooting jokes similar?

They never get old.

Your mamma's so ugly, even the toaster wouldn't get in the bathtub with her.

Fatty and Skinny were in a bed.

Fatty rolled over, and Skinny was dead.

Why can't disabled people make jokes?

Well, it's called Stand-Up comedy, isn't it?

What starts with M and ends with arriage?

Miscarriage. Now we all know that joke never gets old, and you know what?

Neither does the child.

What's the difference between your jokes and your penis? Nobody laughs at your jokes.