Humor
"Your mother has been with us for 20 years," said John. "Isn’t it time she got a place of her own?"
"My mother?" replied Helen. "I thought she was your mother."
Falco: Dreaming of a day when I don’t hear people say I’m a knockoff Fox, knockoff Fox.
Fox: Dreaming of a day when you die in a fire and I get all your aerial skills.
Falco: Wat...
Can I ask you a question? Nut now!
What do you call a gay guy eating Cheerios?
Fruit Loops.
What show do gay men watch?
"2 and a Half Men!"
Lol at this one fellas!
You need a good place to think? You can sit on my lap, and we’ll see the first thing that pops up!
Don't say your life is a joke, because jokes got meaning.
Man: Hey Siri!
Siri: Yes?
Man: I'm desperate, will you marry me?
Siri: Uh...
*phone literally explodes*
(insert funny joke about a dick here).
Did you laugh? Be honest.
That's a knee slapper, or should I say, a wheel slapper?
What does an orphan say after a kid makes a "yo mama" joke?
"I don’t have a mama."
What do you call Stephen Hawking when he eats too much?
As fat as Ben Dingley.
Now you should let your imagination work... imagine naked Jesus with an erection... and nail holes in his hands...
Friend A: Do you like Wendy's?
Friend B: Yes, why?
Friend A: Wen-dez nuts in your mouth!
Are you a building?
Cuz I rate you 9/11.
What makes jokes because it's lonely and a complete and utter loser?
This guy, yep, this guy right here.
Giggity! (DYM 142)
I like wine how I like my woman.
4 year old locked in a basement.
Granny says don't worry, the cries of pain are only my ex-husband's.
The fourth month (symbolizing 41%) on the first day, transgenders mourn for the trans suicides.
That day is called "April Fool's."