So I had a friend who was an orphan and he said, "How's your girlfriend?" I said, "I don't have one." He said, "I know, just reminding you." I then said, "Hey, how's your parents?" I never saw him after that.
Son: Dad, why did name my sister Paris? Dad: Because she was made there. Son: Thanks, Dad. Dad: You're welcome, Backseat.
A feminist asked me how I view lesbian relationships. Apparently "in HD" wasn't a good answer.
I got sent to the principals office for lighting the kid in the wheelchair on fire and calling him hot wheels
How do you get a man with only one arm out of a tree?
Wave.
In Saudi Arabia, our pick up lines are, Girl are you a terrorist? Cuz you da bomb
Whats worse than five dead babies in one garbage can?
- 1 dead baby in 5 garbage cans.
Rules of Dark humor: 1. All subject matter can be used, nothing is off limits. 2. No saying "Me" or "My Life" as a joke. Nobody finds those funny. We want actual good and meaningful jokes. 3. Don't Repeat Previously Posted Jokes. If you are saying the same joke that the person right before you posted you are just begging for attention and nobody by any means likes that. I will add more in the future and be frequent on this site. - Sincerely, Zane
What did the skeleton say before dinner? BONE appetit. His whole family found that HUMERUS.
I'm made with depression and extra anxiety, then a side of gay and a sprinkle of emo.
Why did Mozart kill all his chickens? When he asked who the best composer was they all replied, "Bach, Bach, Bach."
I recently was told by my therapist to stop with the suicide jokes. So I replied with "Don't worry, it will all end soon"
This boy was in school one day when he became desparate to go to the bathroom. So he asked the teacher, "May I use the bathroom?"
The teacher replied, "No, not unless you say your alphabet."
So the boy said "a b c d e f g h i j k l m n o q r s t u v w x y z."
When he finished, the teacher asked him, "Where's the p?"
The boy replied, "Half way down my leg..."
Boys: “Hey, can billy come out and play baseball?” Mom: “That’s not funny, you know billy doesn’t have any arms and legs” Boys: “I know, we need a third base”
Did you here about pillsbery dough boy he died of a yeast infection
Why do ducks have feathers?
To cover their butt-quack.
Why did the blind man fall down the well?
He couldn't see that well.
Want my opinion on Mongolia? It has its pros and Khans.
you so flat you make pancakes look thiccc
you wanna know what's the difference between a girl and a refrigerator? "a refrigerator doesn't moan when I put my meat in it"
