Humor

I’m trying to see things from LEO’S perspective... but I just can't seem to get my head that far up my ass.

What’s the difference between jelly and jam?

You can’t “jelly” it in her ass.

What happens when you cross a pig and karate?

A pork chop!

My girlfriend got COVID.

This is the perfect time to propose to her. She might just say yes because of the lack of taste.

There are "nun" good jokes.

Notice on a shoe repair shop: I’ll heel you, I’ll save your sole, I’ll even gladly dye for you.

Your mom's so fat, when she stands on the scale, it says, "To be continued..."

I got evicted from the hospital today for telling all the patients to stay positive!

What a negative effect!

Yo mama so ugly that when the Kool-Aid Man busted through her wall, he said, “Oh no!”

Dad: Boy, come sit in this hole while I brace the ground.

Boy: I don't want to see Grandpa, he scares me!

Name what guns are used for. {wrong answers only?}

A friend took me out to his shed and was showing me all his tools, when he pointed to a ladder. "That's my step ladder," he said. "I never knew my real ladder."

Have you heard about my new can crushing job?

It's soda-pressing.

None of these jokes are close to funny! Btw, who the hell is Gwen?

After every line, say “I’m a man.”

I went to the club. (I’m a man)

I met a girl. (I’m a man)

I took her to the bar. (I’m a man)

We got some drinks. (I’m a man)

I took her home. (I’m a man)

We got in bed. (I’m a man)

She whispered in my ear... (I’m a man)

Adam and Eve are wondering whether they are black or white. Eve says, "Why don't you go and ask God?"

So Adam goes into the Garden of Eden and shouts out to God, "Are we black or white?" A big booming voice bellows out, "You are what you are."

He immediately goes back to Eve and tells her that they are white. "How do you know?" asks Eve. "Because he said, 'You are what you are,'" Adam replied. "Why does that mean we are white?" asked Eve. "Because if we were black, He would have said, 'You is what you is.'"

Hello, This is Jimmy from Jimmy's Pizzeria and Abortion Clinic! Your next loss is our next sauce! How many pizzas do you need?

Q. What do filicide jokes and filicide victims have in common?

A. They never get old.

Josh is chubby.

I was high in high school, but not as high as the people jumping from the buildings.