Humor
How do you get 30 drunk Canadians out of the pool?
"Please get out of the pool."
What kind of tea do wealthy people own?
Proper-Tea.
What do you call it when a chameleon won't change colors?
A reptile dysfunction.
Two men were talking about their wives. The first man says, "My wife is an angel." The second man says, "You're lucky, mine's still alive."
What do you call a sleepwalking nun?
A roamin' Catholic.
For sale: Dead canary.
Not going cheep.
How do skeletons have sex?
They bone each other.
Why did they call off the leper hockey game?
There was a face-off in the corner.
What do Jamaicans say when they touch a cactus?
Pokemon!
What do you call a pig with no legs?
A groundhog.
What do gay horses eat?
Hay.
What kind of bees eat brains?
Zombees.
What do Colorado and Saudi Arabia have in common?
It's legal to get stoned.
What kind of bees make milk?
BooBees.
What do you call a fish with no eye?
Fsh.
Why couldn't the lizard get a girlfriend?
Because he had a reptile dysfunction!
How do you make holy water?
You boil the hell out of it.
What's the difference between an enzyme and a hormone?
You can't hear an enzyme.
Just because she weighed as much as two women... Doesn't mean you had a threesome.
What did the cannibal do after he dumped his girlfriend?
Wipe his ass.