Humor
If you were a booger, I'd pick you first.
What do you call a priest that is a furry?
A Catholic.
So a guy is walking with a young boy into the woods.
The boy turns to the man and says, "Hey mister, it's getting dark out, and I’m scared... Can we go back now?"
So the man says: "How do you think I feel, I have to walk back alone!"
A woman visits the doctor as she has some abdominal pains and suspects she may be pregnant.
After her examination, the doctor comes out to see her: “Well, I hope you like changing diapers!”
She replies: “Oh my god! Am I pregnant, am I pregnant!?”
To which he responds: “No, you’ve got bowel cancer.”
Why do prostitutes love servicing zombies? They always leave a tip.
Some people ask why jokes exist. I say, when a mommy and daddy love each other very much, they have sex, and they make another one of you.
I was going to make a joke about a piece of paper.
It's just too tear-able.
Once upon a time... Chuck Norris stepped on a Lego. R.I.P. the Lego piece.
What's the difference between a duck?
One of its legs are both the same!
This isn't a joke.
What's better than a meme? A really good Vine.
Why did the cowboy die with his boots on??
He didn’t want to stub his toe when he kicked da bucket 😂🤣👌🏻👌🏻.. knee slapper
Two guys are on the playground. One guy says to the other, "Did you know that Hellen Keller had a playground in her backyard?" The other guy said, "No." The first guy says, "Neither did she."
What do you call a Mexican Baptism?
Bean Dip.
What’s a sheep’s favorite fruit?
A baaaaaaaanaaaaaana!
Dark Humor is like a child with cancer. It never gets old.
Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.
Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally.
What first went through Sally's head when the Nazis came? A bullet.
Where did Sally go when the bomb exploded? Everywhere.
What did Sally get for Christmas? A bike.
I would tell you a construction pun, but I'm still working on it.
What's 6ft long, red, and my girlfriend cries when I feed it to her?
A miscarriage.
Where do mathematicians go to die?
The symmetry.