A man tried to attack me with milk and cheese—how dairy!
Humor
Wanna hear a dry joke? A desert.
I tried writing with a dull pencil the other day, but there was no point.
What do women and peanut butter have in common?
They're both easy to spread.
If you were a booger, I'd pick you first.
What do you call a priest that is a furry?
A Catholic.
So a guy is walking with a young boy into the woods.
The boy turns to the man and says, "Hey mister, it's getting dark out, and I’m scared... Can we go back now?"
So the man says: "How do you think I feel, I have to walk back alone!"
A woman visits the doctor as she has some abdominal pains and suspects she may be pregnant.
After her examination, the doctor comes out to see her: “Well, I hope you like changing diapers!”
She replies: “Oh my god! Am I pregnant, am I pregnant!?”
To which he responds: “No, you’ve got bowel cancer.”
Why do prostitutes love servicing zombies? They always leave a tip.
Some people ask why jokes exist. I say, when a mommy and daddy love each other very much, they have sex, and they make another one of you.
I was going to make a joke about a piece of paper.
It's just too tear-able.
Once upon a time... Chuck Norris stepped on a Lego. R.I.P. the Lego piece.
What's the difference between a duck?
One of its legs are both the same!
This isn't a joke.
What's better than a meme? A really good Vine.
Why did the cowboy die with his boots on??
He didn’t want to stub his toe when he kicked da bucket 😂🤣👌🏻👌🏻.. knee slapper
Two guys are on the playground. One guy says to the other, "Did you know that Hellen Keller had a playground in her backyard?" The other guy said, "No." The first guy says, "Neither did she."
What do you call a Mexican Baptism?
Bean Dip.
What’s a sheep’s favorite fruit?
A baaaaaaaanaaaaaana!
Dark Humor is like a child with cancer. It never gets old.
