Humor
What's the difference between Paul Walker and my computer?
When my computer crashes, I actually give a fuck.
What is a vampire’s favorite fruit?
A nectarine.
Why don’t they let Stephen Hawking have other electronics around him? Because he will sound staticky.
I fell from the stairs the other day. It really "got me down."
I am sorry, but the input "Fuck" is not sufficient to generate a joke. I need more content to work with to create a humorous narrative or pun.
You wanna hear a joke about my penis?
Don’t worry, it’s too long.
Math puns are the first SINE of madness! Mwahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!
My friend texted me and asked me, "Hey. What's your favorite emoji?"
I said, "😬😬😬😬😬😬😬"
She said, "Why?"
I said, "'Cause it's your twin."
Josh: Tell me something funny.
Mark: My life.
I like wine how I like my woman.
4 year old locked in a basement.
Question: Why can't you trust a tree?
Answer: 'Cause they are always shady.
Wife: "How would you describe me?"
Husband: "ABCDEFGHIJK."
Wife: "What does that mean?"
Husband: "Adorable (A), beautiful (B), cute (C), delightful (D), elegant (E), fashionable (F), gorgeous (G), and hot (H)."
Wife: "Aw, thank you, but what about IJK?"
Husband: "I'm just kidding!"
What is the Harry Potter spell that aborts babies? Fetus Deletus!
How many beaten children does it take to change a light bulb for a drunken father?
Apparently not enough to impress him.
All these sea monster jokes are just kraken me up.
Where was Moses when the lights went out? - In the dark!
Chuck Norris once stepped on a Lego.
The Lego broke in half.
How do you stop a baby from crawling around in a circle on the floor? You nail its other hand to the floor.
What's the difference between a cat and a banana? It's hard to peel a cat.
Me: Mom, I think I need to go to the hospital.
Mom: OMG, why son?
Me: I don't know what's wrong, but every time I close my eyes, I can see.
Think about it, then spread LMAO.