Humor
A man tried to shoot Adolf Hitler, but missed. Then Adolf replied, "Oh shoot, I did nazi that coming!"
I would tell you a joke about pizza,
but it's too cheesy.
In a cruel twist of irony, Stephen Hawking's favorite song was "I've Got the Power."
What do you call Stephen Hawking when he eats too much?
As fat as Ben Dingley.
What noise does Stephen Hawking make when he dies? Windows shutting down theme tune.
These jokes are nearly as dead as Steven Hawkings.
Stephen Hawking's death was purely accidental. He clicked “shut-down” instead of “sleep”.
What do you call a gay scientist? Stephen Hawqueen.
Now that Stephen Hawking is dead, the jokes will start to roll in just like he used to.
How did Stephen Hawking die?
He had a computer virus!
Cancer
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Want to hear a joke about pizza?
Never mind, it's too cheesy.
Why can't you tell a joke in a corn maze?
Because there's too many ears.
Jacob has a small penis.
What do you call an alligator in a vest?
An investigator.
My grandfather had the heart of a lion,
and a lifetime ban from the zoo.
My girlfriend broke up with me yesterday. I asked her why. She said, "Because you're a pedophile." I replied, "Pedophile! That's a big word for an eight year old."
What would you call four Mexicans drowning in a lake?
*Answer: Quatro Cinco*
So Stephen Hawking walked into a bar - just kidding.
You take care of chickens. Does that make you a chicken tender?