Humor
Now that Stephen Hawking is dead, the jokes will start to roll in just like he used to.
How did Stephen Hawking die?
He had a computer virus!
Cancer
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Want to hear a joke about pizza?
Never mind, it's too cheesy.
Why can't you tell a joke in a corn maze?
Because there's too many ears.
Jacob has a small penis.
What do you call an alligator in a vest?
An investigator.
My grandfather had the heart of a lion,
and a lifetime ban from the zoo.
My girlfriend broke up with me yesterday. I asked her why. She said, "Because you're a pedophile." I replied, "Pedophile! That's a big word for an eight year old."
What would you call four Mexicans drowning in a lake?
*Answer: Quatro Cinco*
So Stephen Hawking walked into a bar - just kidding.
You take care of chickens. Does that make you a chicken tender?
I'm friends with 2 letters of the alphabet. I don't know why.
What do you get when you mix an apple with water... applesauce. Wait, do not leave yet. If you are still reading this, you have been rekt, ha ha. At least I am still laughing.
Why did lil Susie fall off the swing? She didn’t have any arms.
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Not lil Susie.
What's a cat's favorite color? Purr-ple.
What do you call a Roman with hair in his teeth?
A "glad-he-ate-her".
Q: What did the iceberg say to the Titanic?
A: I'd hit that.
One day a teacher stands up in front of her class and asks if anyone in the class is an idiot, and says that if there is one, then he/she should stand up.
After a minute, a boy stands up.
The teacher then asks the boy if he actually thinks he's an idiot.
The boy says, "No, I just didn't want to see you standing there all by yourself."
This boy was in school one day when he became desperate to go to the bathroom.
So he asked the teacher, "May I use the bathroom?"
The teacher replied, "No, not unless you say your alphabet."
So the boy said "a b c d e f g h i j k l m n o q r s t u v w x y z."
When he finished, the teacher asked him, "Where's the p?"
The boy replied, "Half way down my leg..."