Humor
What do you get when you cross an octopus with a Mexican?
I don't know, but man can it pick lettuce.
How do we know that Princess Diana had dandruff?
Because they found her head and shoulders in the glovebox.
Tombstone engraving: "I TOLD you I was sick!"
My memes are ironic, but my depression is chronic.
Youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu.
How did the blind girl get a date?
She said it was love at first sight.
My sister's name was Philma. We were unfortunate enough to have the last name Coochie. Let's just say no more virgins were at that school.
What do you call a cow grazing a field with 50% grass and 50% weed?
High steaks gambling.
A girl named Rebecca was friends with a guy called Fi. One day, Fi hit Rebecca, and Rebecca lost service.
Rebecca said to Fi, "Why-Fi?"
I got hit in the head with a can of soda yesterday. Luckily for me, it was a soft drink.
How ISS greets their friend.
"You the BOMB!"
Your friend took a shower and used Pantene, but I got a watermelon to keep me clean.
Why did Steven Hawking have no friends?
He couldn’t stand anyone...
Ring ring.
Abortion clinic!
Where no fetus can beat us.
How old is uuuuuurrrr mom?
Five.
Cringe.... I know that was a crap joke... not even a joke.
If Canadians speak "English Eh?", do Americans speak "English B?"
What's Stephen Hawking's other favorite song?
Steve Winwood's "Just Roll with It Baby."
Stephen Hawking isn't actually dead. He is just having an update.
If Stephen Hawking had a FIFA card, he would have 99 dribble.
That was a horrible pun. You should be sent to the PUN-itentiary!