Humor

Man: "Is your body from McDonald's?"

Woman: "Why, because you're loving it?"

Man: "No, because it's fat and greasy."

What is more dangerous than Russian gangs?

Russian malls.

Hands down, syndromes are bad.

What's the only punch that can knock out a 21 year old?

A Sandy Hook.

Brian was shopping at a mall. He hopped onto an escalator. Next to him were two people having an argument. Eventually, one of them pulled out a pocket knife threatening to stab the other. Brian murmured "Well, that escalated quickly..."

Have I told you the joke about the airplane? Ah, forget it, it probably just went over your head.

If you want a joke, look at yourself in the mirror!

How many babies does it take to paint a wall red?

It depends on how hard you throw them.

If you are ever bored, punch an orphan. What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?

It said to submit a joke, and that's what my mom did when I was born.

What do you call a fake noodle?

An impasta!

I read a book on anti-gravity...

It was impossible to put down.

A nun walked into a bar with her clothes on inside out. The bartender asked her about it, and she replied, "It's a bad habit."

When you send her a dick pic, but then she sends you one right back...

Monkey: What ya doing?

Other monkey: Just you know, "hanging around."

Bad joke, right? I just can't think of something amazing. It's like my brain is "hanging."

Yesterday I asked my friend, "What is a fish without eyes?"

They replied, "I don’t know."

I said, "Fsh."

What's the difference between all the jokes on this page? Nothing, they're all knockoffs of old jokes you've already heard that aren't funny. Penis!

What's the difference between Jesus and the baby in my basement?

Jesus died a virgin.

What is the difference between a frog and a horny toad?

One says “Ribbit, Ribbit” and the other says “Rub it, Rub it”.

Yo mama is so fat, she brought a pencil to early intervention!