Humor
So my ex invited me to dinner with her new boyfriend.
Her boyfriend said "Hi."
I said, "Knife to meet you!"
Gay guy?
Poo poo packed, lol.
Why did the blondie put her iPad in the blender? To make apple juice.
The irony of metal jokes is pretty fun. But it leads to a lot of people stealing them.
I asked a Chinese girl for her number. She said, "Sex, sex, sex! Free sex tonight!" I said, "Wow!" Then her friend said, "She means 666-3629."
I love how all these jokes about different accidents have happened, but why isn't anyone writing about how much of an accident we all were?
Robin: "The car's not working."
Batman: "Did you check the battery?"
Robin: "What's a tery?"
Why should you never fart in an Apple store?
Because they have no Windows!
These are some of the greatest names ever: Dixie Normous, Dixie Rekt, Ka Monmi, Ice Wallow Kum, Dick Sinsider, Anita Biggerman.
My dick actually destroyed the Death Star.
I have a skeleTON of jokes, but none of them are very humorous.
What do you call someone who wants to commit suicide by jumping off a building?
A cliffhanger.
what did the banana say to the banana?
"u look a-pealing"
I would tell you a chemistry pun, but I won't get a reaction.
What did the man's dick say to the man?
I just can't "hand"le it!
What does your mom and a slinky have in common?
They aren't much to look at, but you can't help but crack a smile when you see them tumbling down the stairs.
What’s the difference between a snowman and a snow woman?
Snow balls.
What is a lesbian's favorite potato chip flavor?
Porn Cocktail.
Why did Mozart kill all his chickens?
When he asked who the best composer was, they all replied, "Bach, Bach, Bach."
Do you know what the similarity between a penis and cucumber is?
They both have cum in it.