Brian was shopping at a mall. He hopped onto an escalator. Next to him were two people having an argument. Eventually, one of them pulled out a pocket knife threatening to stab the other. Brian murmured "Well, that escalated quickly..."

Have I told you the joke about the airplane? Ah, forget it, it probably just went over your head.

How many babies does it take to paint a wall red?

It depends on how hard you throw them.

A nun walked into a bar with her clothes on inside out. The bartender asked her about it, and she replied, "It's a bad habit."

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  • Monkey: What ya doing?

    Other monkey: Just you know, "hanging around."

    Bad joke, right? I just can't think of something amazing. It's like my brain is "hanging."

    Yesterday I asked my friend, "What is a fish without eyes?"

    They replied, "I don’t know."

    I said, "Fsh."

    What's the difference between all the jokes on this page? Nothing, they're all knockoffs of old jokes you've already heard that aren't funny. Penis!

    What's the difference between Jesus and the baby in my basement?

    Jesus died a virgin.

    What is the difference between a frog and a horny toad?

    One says “Ribbit, Ribbit” and the other says “Rub it, Rub it”.

    Why did the family get mad at the boy for eating at the funeral?

    While trying to season his food, he mistook his cremated grandfather for salt.

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  • When we were visiting the Hoover Dam, I started to get a bit hungry. I asked my parents, "Where's the dam snack bar?"