Humor
I hate it when you say your life is a joke because a joke actually has meaning.
My wife wanted something that went from 0 to 80 very quickly.
So I brought her a new bathroom scale.
Hahah, funny joke!
A Russian walked into a bar... Unlucky for him I guess, in Soviet Russia, you don’t walk into bars. Bars walk into you.
What is the best thing about being back?
Free bullets.
On Paxomedy channel, I made a video of a Rooster and a dog fighting.
I needed to know why they were fighting. Once I dug down into the issue, it turned out that the Dog called the Rooster a Cock, and the Rooster laughed and called the Dog a useless Bitch, and that was the beginning of their fight, and weird enough, the Cock won!
I went to congratulate the winner, but he thought he was insulting me by calling me Zinjathropus, but I said that was a compliment because Zinja was an old skeleton found in Africa, and I am African. I said to the Rooster he shouldn't have fought with the dog just because he called him a Cock. He said that being called a Cock is a compliment, and the fighting was his exercise to toughen up for serious fights with Dogs!
69.
Person 1: "I love KFC."
Person 2: "Yeah, me too!"
Person 1: "How many have you gotten?"
Person 2: "How am I supposed to remember how many buckets of chicken I have ordered!?"
Person 1: "Chicken? What chicken? What do you think KFC stands for?"
Person 2: "Kentucky Fried Chicken?"
Person 1: "What? I thought it meant kidnapping foster children."
Person 2: "BLOODY WHATT??"
"A priest, an imam, and a rabbit walk into a clinic to donate blood. The rabbit turns to the nurse and says, 'I think I'm a Type-O!'"
What did the mama moose say to the calf after it got on her nerves?
"I'm not a-moosed right now."
My mom told me a joke about boxing.
I guess I missed the punch line.
I have a joke about chemistry, but I don't think it will get a reaction.
What's the difference between a baby and a bowling ball?
A bowling ball doesn't cry when you put your fingers in it.
I saw two really tall guys. I walked up and said, "I didn't know we still have the Twin Towers!"
Why was the leper hockey game canceled?
It was because of a face-off in the corner.
"Mountains aren't just funny. They're hill areas!"
I identify as kilometers per second because I want to km/s.
What time would it be if Godzilla came to school? Time to run!
The brain named itself, and when the brain realized that it named itself, it was surprised.
But maybe, it was a spelling mistake and the brain wanted the name Brian. We all have a little Brian in us!
A dad tells his son, "Stop masturbating! If you do it too long, you will go blind."
The son replied, "Dad, I'm over here!"