Imagine there’s a funny joke here. Imagine it? Great! Now check yourself into an insane asylum because you’re schizophrenic.
Humor
How do you ground a person in a wheelchair?
Take off the wheels!
What happens when you have dry elbows at work?
You don't have any elbow grease to put into it.
I hate it when you say your life is a joke because a joke actually has meaning.
My wife wanted something that went from 0 to 80 very quickly.
So I brought her a new bathroom scale.
Hahah, funny joke!
A Russian walked into a bar... Unlucky for him I guess, in Soviet Russia, you don’t walk into bars. Bars walk into you.
What is the best thing about being back?
Free bullets.
On Paxomedy channel, I made a video of a Rooster and a dog fighting.
I needed to know why they were fighting. Once I dug down into the issue, it turned out that the Dog called the Rooster a Cock, and the Rooster laughed and called the Dog a useless Bitch, and that was the beginning of their fight, and weird enough, the Cock won!
I went to congratulate the winner, but he thought he was insulting me by calling me Zinjathropus, but I said that was a compliment because Zinja was an old skeleton found in Africa, and I am African. I said to the Rooster he shouldn't have fought with the dog just because he called him a Cock. He said that being called a Cock is a compliment, and the fighting was his exercise to toughen up for serious fights with Dogs!
69.
Person 1: "I love KFC."
Person 2: "Yeah, me too!"
Person 1: "How many have you gotten?"
Person 2: "How am I supposed to remember how many buckets of chicken I have ordered!?"
Person 1: "Chicken? What chicken? What do you think KFC stands for?"
Person 2: "Kentucky Fried Chicken?"
Person 1: "What? I thought it meant kidnapping foster children."
Person 2: "BLOODY WHATT??"
"A priest, an imam, and a rabbit walk into a clinic to donate blood. The rabbit turns to the nurse and says, 'I think I'm a Type-O!'"
What did the mama moose say to the calf after it got on her nerves?
"I'm not a-moosed right now."
My mom told me a joke about boxing.
I guess I missed the punch line.
I have a joke about chemistry, but I don't think it will get a reaction.
What's the difference between a baby and a bowling ball?
A bowling ball doesn't cry when you put your fingers in it.
I saw two really tall guys. I walked up and said, "I didn't know we still have the Twin Towers!"
Why was the leper hockey game canceled?
It was because of a face-off in the corner.
"Mountains aren't just funny. They're hill areas!"
I identify as kilometers per second because I want to km/s.
