Tell the person next to you to spell "me." When they do, say, "You forgot the D." They should respond with, "There is no D in ME." You say, "Not yet." If this does not go as planned, well, then you are fucked for life.
Humor
Expectation: "Brr, I’m cold!" "Here brother! I’ll give you my jacket, I don’t want you to be cold!"
Reality: "Brr, I’m cold!" "Well, damn bro, I can’t control the weather."
Why is jelly laughing a lot?
Because his friend goes nuts!
Guy: Do you know how to draw woman's rights?
Girl: No, how?
Guy: All you need is a blank paper and reality.
A brunette fought and didn't get raped.
A blonde thought and did get raped.
What's the problem with 9/11 jokes?
They are just two plane.
What does WTC stand for?
"What Trade Centre?"
Yo mama is so ugly, her pictures hang themselves.
Me: Hey, you want to hear a dark joke?
Brother: Sure.
Me: Turn off the light.
Q: What do you get when you cross Raggedy Ann with the Pillsbury Dough Boy?
A: A red-headed bitch with a yeast infection.
Q: What do you get when you cross a donkey with an onion?
A: A piece of ass that brings tears to your eyes.
How do you get Carrie Underwood to dehydrate fast?
Tell her that all the water supplies contain the COVID vaccine.
Two guys watching a war movie at a bar are talking. One says to the other, "The Nazis starved my dad to death in a concentration camp during the war."
The other says, "My dad died in a camp as well... he broke his neck."
First guy says, "How did he break his neck?"
Second guy says, "He fell out of the guard tower."
9/11 jokes are that deadly not even the towers could hold themselves up.
Hear the one about the deaf kid?
He didn't.
My dad’s nickname for me is ‘Tiger’.
Now, my wrists look like a tiger.
My ex-boyfriend tried to scan himself at the supermarket checkout for fun.
“See how I can’t scan myself? It’s because I’m priceless.”
I decided I’d scan my wrist too, just for fun.
Found out I’m worth $3.97.
Yo hairline so long, it makes you look like Mr. Clean.
Q: Where do you bury the people killed in 9/11?
A: It's already done for you.
An Asian went to bed at 9:00, woke up at 6. People say he's still sleeping.
