Humor
What do you call a non-binary person that is lactose intolerant?
Non-buy dairy.
Yo mama so fat, when she made a joke, only one person laughed at it: the pavement. It was absolutely cracking up!
Where do terrorists go for food? The Allah snack bar.
One day my dog died because we couldn't find him. Then we got a cat on the same day. Then my cat went missing, and when I was crying, we heard our Asian neighbor was having a party. Then we went over and I saw my dog and cat on the grill, and they ate them in front of me, saying "yum yum doggy in my tummy and cat in my tummy as well."
Michael Jackson is pure cheese.
I mean, Jacko comes on a little cracker.
Guys, am I funny?
When the North Tower saw the South Tower collapse, he would say, "I'm still standing."
What makes a healthy normal man different to a disabled man?
"They can move it, move it." (from King Julian)
What's the difference between an Afghan kindergarten and a military target?
The drone guy didn't know either.
Your forehead is so deep, not even curry can shoot from that deep.
What's the last thing Asians hear from their parents?
"My money is my money. Your money is my money. Your wife's money is my money. Always remember that, son."
Today I got a lecture from my mother, and congratulated her. Why?
Because she managed not to damage me in a physical fashion.
My dick was in the book of world records.
But then the librarian asked me to take it out.
Roses are red, violets are bl-- oh yeah, I'm bad at jokes.
"A N N O Y I N G - D O G - R O B - Y O U R - S A F E."
If a bike is also called a bicycle, then what is a test also called?
A tEsTiClE!
I don't have a joke, it's just funny reading them.
POV: I made a blind joke.
"That isn't funny. What if Helen Keller saw that?"
Guy, your hairline was the reason Adolf Hitler said, "Let there be war!"
What do you call a paraplegic cannibal?
"Dine and dash."