Humor
How do you measure the circumference of Uranus?
By the rings around it.
Ha! It asked me to submit a joke, but then I realized I'm the joke.
There was a penguin breathing with his ass. One day, he sat down and he died.
Hi, I'm a skeleton and I know a skele-TON of jokes!
Really funny jokes at https://www.ranker.com/list/duck-jokes/jack-napier
Why do cemeteries have fences around them? People are dying to get in.
Why didn't the sun get a job? Seriously, I have no idea why. Help me!
When is a piece of wood made king?
When it's a ruler.
What do you call a skeleton's omelet?
A bonelet.
Why did the bone go on a blind date? He was bonely.
How do you wake up Lady Gaga?
You Poker Face.
"Hi, Mrs. Jackson, can Matt come out and play?"
"Oh, Johnny, you know Matt doesn't have any arms or legs."
"I know, we just wanted to use him as third base."
What do you call a chicken with no legs? Ground chicken 🤣💀🐔 Get WRAY'DDDDD!
Why are Deepika Amar's jokes so shit?
Because he is a smelly cunt.
I'd make a joke about an obese person, but it won't work out.
Paper.
Aww c'mon! I thought my joke made the cut!
Q: How do you know an Asian person was in your house?
A: Your homework is done, breakfast is made, and your cat is gone.
My mama always told me, don't pick your nose or it will fall off! I thought she meant my nose.
Hey, give me a break! I'm a little shorthanded!
Oh no, not rock paper scissors again! I always lose. Come on guys, I just lost my finger a day ago! This is Tony, later on.
"Doctor, Doctor, I feel like a pair of curtains!" "What's wrong with me!" "Calm down, calm down. Just pull yourself together!"
Question: Why did the Mexican push his wife off a cliff?
Answer: Tequila