Humor
Why did God create women before men?
He didn’t want any advice on how to do it.
Don't do suicide shit. Nearly killed me, tbh. 🙏🙏🙏🙏
Your hairline is so bad that KSI's hairline actually looks normal.
What do you call an Asian who gets a B?
It's not a B-sian.
Dead.
What did the cops say when someone called him racist?
"How can I be racist? My wife's eye is black."
what do you call an American looking at cloud shapes?
Oppenheimer
What do you call an orange on a small stick?
Donald Trump.
A woman approached me in the street the other day with one of those charity collection buckets and asked me: Do you know how often people die from AIDS?
I said: Now I'm no expert, but I think it's only once.
What do gingers miss most at a grate party?
The invitation.
I started a new job. My boss said, "Hi, my name is Rebecca, but people call me Becky." I said, "My name is Kyle, but people call me Dick."
She said, "How do you get Dick from Kyle?" I replied, "You just ask nicely."
What did the Twin Towers say to each other?
Sorry if that offended anyone.
“I guess we are going down together!”
I tell dad jokes all the time even though I’m not actually a dad.
I’m a faux pa.
I went to a birthday party and told dad jokes.
The jokes didn't go over well. I was asked to leave the orphanage.
What separates bad jokes from dad jokes?
Condoms.
Call me a worn-out sweater because I’m hanging on by a thread.
That’s about to become a rope around my neck.
Why don't women parachute naked?
That annoying whistling sound on the way down.
I was laughing my ass off when the 12-year-old child realized the door to my basement was unlocked, and he didn't need to cannibalize his two friends in a desperate attempt for survival. 🤣🤣🤣
Humor is like skin; the darker it gets, the less people like it.
Has Covid-19 forced you to wear glasses and a mask at the same time?
You may be entitled to condensation.
My girlfriend got COVID.
This is the perfect time to propose to her. She might just say yes because of the lack of taste.