What is the difference between cremation and smoking?
While you are smoking, you don't go up in smoke.
Humor
Q: What’s a good thing about child molesters?
A: They drive slow through school zones.
This is a Cuphead joke.
Why did the clown drive over the cup? Cuz he wanted to CRACK him up!
I got a job as a pencil sharpener. I would tell you about it, but you wouldn't get the point.
My wife called me ugly, and then when she found out how much money I actually make, she called me ugly and broke.
Stephen Hawking walked in a bar...
Just kidding.
What's a school shooter's favorite flower?
Columbine.
So in class, they were learning about where food comes from:
Teacher: So kids, where does bacon come from?
Student: PIGS!
Teacher: Correct. Where does mutton come from?
Student: SHEEP!
Teacher: And finally, here’s your homework.
Student: IK where that comes from!
A FAT COW! 😂😂
People were talking and asking what's the worst day of the year for them.
Person 1: "The first day of school because I don't like going to school."
Person 2: "Valentine's day because it's too lovey."
Me: "Oh nice, mine is my birthday because it's when I was born."
What time do butts get up? At the crack of dawn!!!
Why can't Chinese play baseball?
Because they eat the bats.
Do you want to hear a joke?
Never mind, it’s too punny.
Stop making moo jokes, they're so annoying!
Yo mama so ugly she made happy meals cry.
I'm hertophobic.
It means I'm allergic to straights.
Why was the turtle looking at her phone?
She wanted to take a shellfie.
When you're the only one nice to the quiet kid.
Kid: "I like you... don't go to school tomorrow."
How can you tell when your sister is on her period?
Your dad's knob tastes funny.
An action hero stops a man running by throwing a tire at him.
What is his one liner? "I told you to stop running or you will get tired."
How do you know if you have a high sperm count?
She chews before she swallows.
