Humor

"Babe, is it in?" "Yeah." "Does it hurt?" "Uh-huh." "Let me put it in slowly." "It still hurts." "Okay, let's try another shoe size."

We used to have Reagan, Jonny Cash, and Bob Hope. Now we have Biden, no cash, and no hope.

- What do you call a dog that can do magic?

- A labracadabrador.

Hey, I just want to give a round of applause to Shooter McFly, single-handedly keeping the jokes section alive. Unappreciated, well, Shooter, one person here appreciates you, at least.

I taped a picture of Bill Cosby to my gun. Now it’s an assault rifle.

What’s the difference between Swifties and rap fans?

One rap fan has a higher IQ than every Swiftie combined.

What were the emo kid's pronouns?

Was/were.

Can you imagine the last thing that went through the minds of 9/11 victims?

Well, probably the person in front of them.

"If you can make them laugh and giggle, you can make their booty shake and jiggle."

Why did God create women before men?

He didn’t want any advice on how to do it.

Don't do suicide shit. Nearly killed me, tbh. 🙏🙏🙏🙏

Your hairline is so bad that KSI's hairline actually looks normal.

What do you call an Asian who gets a B?

It's not a B-sian.

Dead.

What did the cops say when someone called him racist?

"How can I be racist? My wife's eye is black."

what do you call an American looking at cloud shapes?

Oppenheimer

What do you call an orange on a small stick?

Donald Trump.

A woman approached me in the street the other day with one of those charity collection buckets and asked me: Do you know how often people die from AIDS?

I said: Now I'm no expert, but I think it's only once.

What do gingers miss most at a grate party?

The invitation.

I started a new job. My boss said, "Hi, my name is Rebecca, but people call me Becky." I said, "My name is Kyle, but people call me Dick."

She said, "How do you get Dick from Kyle?" I replied, "You just ask nicely."

What did the Twin Towers say to each other?

Sorry if that offended anyone.

“I guess we are going down together!”