What is the best whey to make friends with an American boy, you bunch?
Humor
What do you call an orphan who grows up and becomes a priest?
Father Les.
One night I was lying in bed, looking up at the stars. As I lay there, I thought to myself: WHERE'S THE ROOF?
Lol, I have no life :)
What did The Notorious B.I.G. say to the cow?
- MOO MONEY MOO PROBLEMS
Your mama's so ugly that when she looks in the mirror, you can see Micah.
The F in "I'm orphan" stands for family.
But there is no F.
Do you know why the Japanese have squinted eyes? Because nukes are bright.
Me, trying to interact with people: “Hey, are you a rope? Because I really wanna HANG with you.”
Person I’m talking to: *Pulling out phone to call suicide hotline* “haha what.”
What does a depressed person and a fashion enthusiast have in common?
They both have something hanging in their closet.
An attractive man and a blonde meet in an elevator.
"Where are you heading today?" the man asks.
"I'm going down to give blood."
"How much do you get paid for giving blood?"
"About $30."
"Wow," says the man, "I'm going up to donate sperm, and the sperm bank pays $100."
The woman, slightly annoyed, gets off the elevator. The next day, the man and woman meet in the elevator again.
"Fancy meeting you again. Where you off to today?"
"Sperm bank," she mumbles with her mouth full.
Knock knock. Who's there? Dees. Dees who? Dees nuts!
(Or dees nuts in yo mouth!)
MVP means: “Most Valuable Player.”
In Chuck Norris' case: “Most Vaginas Penetrated”.
What is it called when an art teacher has a heart attack?
An art attack!
What does a woman’s pussy and a chainsaw have in common?
Miss by a few inches and you’re in deep shit.
(sorry in advance this joke is brutal)
What has 12 heads and 24 eyes?
The bin at the back of the abortion clinic.
What do you call a basement full of SJW's?
A whine cellar.
What do computer programming and 9/11 have in common?
They're both inside jobs.
Okay not a depression joke but... what’s worse than 10 babies in 1 bucket?
1 baby in 10 buckets.
69, 420, 21.
