I got evicted from the hospital today for telling all the patients to stay positive!
What a negative effect!
Humor
How does Michael Jackson pick his nose?
Out of a catalogue. 😁
What do you get when you put 2 nuns and a blond on a football field? 2 tight ends and a wide receiver.
I made a joke about putting babies in the microwave and got told I was a disgusting person.
So from now on I’ll only make baby in the deep fryer jokes.
Why’d the chicken cross the road?
To get choked and stroked by Mr. Big Bloke!
“We’ll choke and stroke, it ain’t no joke!”
"I'm sorry, Wendy, but I don't trust anything that bleeds for five days and doesn't die."
If two eagles make a baby and two sparrows make a baby, what makes no baby?
Two swallows.
What do Africans eat for breakfast?
E-bola Cornflakes.
Yo mama so slow, she took nine months to make the joke. Thank god mine only took 6.
Your hairline and my car go Lighting McQueen speed because he never came back with the milk.
HAHAHAH! You all got April fooled in the wrong month!
Me: "What's the difference between an apple and an emo?"
Friend: "I don't know."
Me: An apple actually falls from the tree.
There are "nun" good jokes.
Why can't a dodo fly? Cus it suicided when it saw you will be born soon.
if priests were on Twitter, they would tweet, "He's a 10 but he's 10."
Abigail Brynn Welch is not funny.
What show do gay men watch?
"2 and a Half Men!"
Lol at this one fellas!
My mom bought me a car, and she called me an ungrateful b*tch because I sat in my wheelchair the whole time.
Why did the sperm cross the road?
Because I put the wrong socks on this morning.
What game can an emo play on their wrists without an ink pen?
Tic-tac-toe.
