Humor
What's the fastest thing on earth?
An Ethiopian with a McDonald's Voucher.
What is an army member's top drink?
WARter.
Are you a building?
Cuz I rate you 9/11.
What's Stephen Hawking's favorite type of car on fire? Hot wheels.
What time is it when it turns 13 o'clock?
Time to get a new watch.
When you went to an ugly competition, the judges said, "No professionals allowed."
Kid: I forgot to flush the toilet, sorry I just forgot.
Adult: Just like your parents forgot YOU 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Imagine Africans during a solar eclipse...
What do you call a vagina with teeth?
A vicious cunt.
A farmer artificially impregnated a cow. The cow said to another cow, "It's a miracle, I'm pregnant." The other cow said, "That's impossible, it's only us cows in the field, you must be joking." The first cow said, "Nope, I'm serious... no bull!"
These orphan jokes are getting old. I mean, seriously, haven't you got something better to tell?
A farmer walks into his bedroom with his wife in bed with a sheep under his arm and says, "This is the pig I'm fucking." She says, "You idiot, that's a sheep!" He says, "Shut up, I wasn't talking to you."
What time is bedtime at Michael Jackson’s house?
When the big hand touches the little hand.
What did the priest say to the skunk?
Let us spray.
When the nlgga is farting!!!
If a blonde and a brunette jump off a building, who would hit the ground first?
The brunette, because the blonde would have to stop and ask for directions!
I got evicted from the hospital today for telling all the patients to stay positive!
What a negative effect!
How does Michael Jackson pick his nose?
Out of a catalogue. 😁
What do you get when you put 2 nuns and a blond on a football field? 2 tight ends and a wide receiver.
I made a joke about putting babies in the microwave and got told I was a disgusting person.
So from now on I’ll only make baby in the deep fryer jokes.