The biggest inconvenience in 2001, I thought, was my brother. Turns out it was 9/11. I guess the planes saw him be born and died from how ugly he was. Aluh aluckbar.
Humor
Goofy ahh jokes below.
Last week I felt so high and mighty I thought I could fly. I took one shot, puffed through my pipe, and jumped in the air on a trampoline. I woke up in heaven.
I asked an angel, "How did I die?"
"Well, little monkey, you thought your bed was a trampoline and you hit your head. Your mom called the doctor, and the doctor said you were dead."
I was going to share my joke about anal, but, fuck it, it was inappropriate.
Memories: I have ligma.
Ligma what?
Ligma balls.
You've heard of anal sex.
You've heard of oral sex.
You've heard of genital sex.
But have you ever heard of NASAL SEX?
What's tree plus tree? Sticks! (Three plus three = six)
How many balls do you have on your body?
2. Your butt.
Men.
What does an orgasm and a pulse have in common?
I don't care if she has either.
My biggest joke: I’d show you, but I don’t have a mirror to show you.
When I saw you, it instantly made me cry. LOL.
Welcome to Joe's abortion clinic! No fetus can beat us! You make 'em, we take 'em!
What do you call a person with no arms?
Armless.
No, it's harmless.
Why do women rub their eyes when they wake up?
'Cause they don't got balls to scratch.
"OK, son," he says. "It's as easy as counting to 5."
1. Pull down your pants. 2. Pull back your foreskin. 3. Pee in the toilet. 4. Put your foreskin back. 5. Pull up your pants.
From then on, every time the boy goes to the toilet, he counts from 1 to 5. One day, the father noticed his son was taking quite some time in the toilet. He went to check on him and overheard his son saying, "2,4,2,4,2,4,2,4."
Your friend lost his left arm, and after getting out of the hospital, you ask him if he’s OK. He says, "Yeah, I’m all RIGHT."
I'd tell you a 9/11 joke, but it'd fly over your head and into the Twin Towers.
When someone said to an orphan, "My boyfriend ghosted me," the orphan says back, "Don't worry, my parents ghosted me!" 🤣
I have a little John.
