Humor
Why are orphans bad at dad jokes?
Because they don't have a dad to tell them.
So here's Uranus, where's my anus?
Who can jump the highest? Depressed asses, some say they’re still in the air.
I wish my hair was emo so it would cut itself.
Why did the orphan cross the road?
Because there was a dad on the other side.
When you see someone with a double chin that’s sad:
Hey come on, man, keep your chin up. Wait, which one?
My favorite dark joke is orphan jokes. For no apparent reason.
What's the fastest thing on earth?
An Ethiopian with a McDonald's Voucher.
What is an army member's top drink?
WARter.
Are you a building?
Cuz I rate you 9/11.
What's Stephen Hawking's favorite type of car on fire? Hot wheels.
What time is it when it turns 13 o'clock?
Time to get a new watch.
When you went to an ugly competition, the judges said, "No professionals allowed."
Kid: I forgot to flush the toilet, sorry I just forgot.
Adult: Just like your parents forgot YOU 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Imagine Africans during a solar eclipse...
What do you call a vagina with teeth?
A vicious cunt.
A farmer artificially impregnated a cow. The cow said to another cow, "It's a miracle, I'm pregnant." The other cow said, "That's impossible, it's only us cows in the field, you must be joking." The first cow said, "Nope, I'm serious... no bull!"
These orphan jokes are getting old. I mean, seriously, haven't you got something better to tell?
A farmer walks into his bedroom with his wife in bed with a sheep under his arm and says, "This is the pig I'm fucking." She says, "You idiot, that's a sheep!" He says, "Shut up, I wasn't talking to you."
What time is bedtime at Michael Jackson’s house?
When the big hand touches the little hand.