Humor
I was high in high school, but not as high as the people jumping from the buildings.
I threw a lamp at an emo kid and told him to lighten the f*ck up.
What's black and sits at the top of the stairs?
Stephen Hawking during a house fire.
A married woman asked her husband if he saw the future. The husband answered her, "I have no eye, dear."
I went to my boss's funeral and knelt down to his coffin and whispered, "Whose late now?"
"Thank God there are no of these ahahha ya thank God to pranks."
"Oh I forgot a dance 🕺 😅 joke is good ok for kids."
A leaf and a depressed kid fall from a building. Which hits the ground first?
The leaf, the rope stops the depressed kid.
Your hairline is so bad, when people see the back of your head they say "nice beard!"
What do lizards and Queen Elizabeth have in common?
They both live long with dry skin.
How did Capetian Hook kill himself? He wiped his butt with the wrong hand.
What’s Queen Elizabeth’s pickup line?
You’re breathtaking!
Where's is the candy, sir???
Over there.
(kid steps in van)
I don't see any candy.
We should stop the orphan jokes. The parents will get mad.
Your breasts remind me of Mount Rushmore – my face should be among them.
Is there a mirror in your pants? Because I see myself in them.
Kindly yeet someone!
Why did the Chicken Cross the Road?
Idk.
The easiest time to add insult to injury is when you're signing someone's cast.
"Like if u cry everytime."
You've probably heard this one before, but screw it.
What's the difference between Jesus Christ and the kid I just killed?
Jesus Christ probably died a virgin.