Humor
What did the frog do when his car broke down?
It was toad.
Your dad? Oh wait, you don’t have that!
pilot: *over intercom* we're all going to die.
passengers: *start freaking out*
pilot: all of us will one day, no one knows when.
passengers: *sigh with relief*
pilot: but it'll probably be when we hit that mountain.
What do you call a suicide bomber under the water?
A bath bomb.
"My name is Dezz."
Corpses aren’t funny—they’re dead serious.
Your hairline's so far back that Dora the Explorer couldn't find it.
Who said white people can't jump?
Look at the footage from 9/11.
What’s the difference between an orphan and Pikachu?
Pikachu, I choose you!
So, a few hours ago my friend said I need to CUT it out with the s/h jokes... like... it's really not that deep?
Three guys are standing in an alley on an alien planet, and the psycho one says, "However many tits your girl has is how many balls you have!"
The first guy says, "Ha! My girlfriend has six! I'm racked up!" The second guy said, "Eh, I am happy with two balls." The third guy said, "Shit! My girlfriend is flat as fuck!"
A guy listening in enters and says, "Bro, you actually have girlfriends. I do not. Does that mean I have a pussy?"
You know they say, when you get lemons make lemonade... Well, I took that a little bit too literal.
Turns out squeezing your wife's tits as hard as you can hurts them.
But at least lemonade came out!
If you’ve got depression, then your life is a joke. Everyone laughs at both.
Your forehead is so big that it said, "To be continued."
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Spell.
Spell who?
W. H. O.
What do you call it when a man is scared in Panera Bread?
Panera dread.
What do you call it when a guy named Fred enters Panera Bread?
Panera Fred.
Little Sally found out that she had hair on her private area and went up to her mom and asked, "Mom, I have hair on my privates, what is it?"
"Oh, honey, that's your monkey," the mom says.
So little Sally runs up to her big sister and says, "My monkey has hair on it!" The sister replies with a laugh, "You think that's cool? My monkey is already eating bananas!"
Elmo in 2022 is called "Tickle My Balls Elmo."
You are shore to find loads of jokes funny even if I can’t kelp you find the right ones.
Loads of jokes are funny as I’m shore you shall sea.