Hows jokes
Friend: How dark is your humor?
Me: .....it...
Friend: No
Me: *smiles* GETS BEAT BY THE MISTRESS AND GETS SCOLDED BY THE MASTER!!!
Friend: Why are you like this?
"How was your day?"
"It was great."
"What was so great about it?"
"I saw a puppy."
"Awww."
"And I ran over it :)"
How do you help a suicidal person cheer up?
You tell them it's a leap of faith.
How do you start a rave? Throw a flash bang into an epileptic children's ward.
I asked a Japanese chef how to make a good bowl of ramen, he said "Let me show you."
Ok,how the hell has this "Meme" got so many likes?
How are abortion and rape different? At least the rape victim usually deserves it and isn't defenseless.
How do you blindfold an Asian? String!
A woman was 3 months pregnant when she fell into a coma. After 6 months, she woke up. She asked the doctor, "How's the baby?"
"You had twins," the doctor replied. "Your brother named them."
The woman said, "Oh no, not my brother! What did he call them?"
The doctor said, "He called the girl Denise."
"What about the boy?" the woman asked.
The doctor said, "Denephew."
How do you die from Alzheimer's? You forget how to breathe.
Q: What did the elephant say to the naked man?
A: How do you breathe through that little thing?
How do you shut Helen Keller up?
You give her mittens.
If you go to the military and you get sent to a country, how many heads will you blow off?
That number is how many dicks you suck.
How do you spell ihop?
Then spell ihop and say "ness".
No matter how kind you are, German children are kinder.
My mom asks, "How did you do this?" Me: "Naw, I did it with a fork. WHAT D'YA THINK?-"
How do you know if a comedian is high?
Comedian: Why did the wings cross the road? To get to chicken.
How many brain cells does a pregnant blonde have?
Two, one for her and one for the baby.
What do you call a person with one arm, one leg, one eye, and one ear?
ONESY.
“Hey dad, how do you kill a star?” - Give them drugs.
How do you turn a dishwasher into a snow plow?
Give her a shovel.
How do you stop a heterosexual woman from sucking your dick? piss inside her mouth