Hows jokes
Why don't orphans know how to play baseball? Because they don't know where how is.
How does the Eskimo make a house of cards? Igloos it.
How to decorate a wall:
Strip off the paper and original plaster.
Put on fresh plaster and wallpaper.
Paint it (if you want).
Send a bill to North America and wait patiently for a reply.
How do you communicate to the dead?
Jump up and down on the ground and speak in Morse code!
A young boy walked up to his dad and asked, "Daddy, why are you banned from coming to elementary school?"
The dad calmly replies, "Because that's how I met your mother."
Teacher: "Okay, so how are you going?"
Student: "I'm not going."
Teacher: "Oh, so you're a wheelchair person?"
How many belly rolls does Explain Bear have?
How do you know the baby's dead? The dog plays with it more.
You are in the airway, how funny!
How many prostitutes does it take to change a light bulb?
None, they just put the light bulb up their pussy and ask you to pay.
For all those Simpsons fans out there, this one I'm sure you know:
Abe: "It's rotten being old. No one listens to you."
Lisa: "It's awful being a kid. No one listens to you."
Homer: "I'm a white male, aged 18-49. Everyone listens to me--no matter how dumb my suggestions are."
Q: How can you tell that a pedophile likes music?
A: He rapes D minor.
Why did the rapper go to school?
To learn how to drop some KNOWLEDGE on his tracks.
Me: Knock knock. Bestie: Who's there? Me: Ben. Bestie: Ben Dover? Me: No, Ben vuyictrbjovtfcybugxrrx. Bestie: Omg how did I forget, hi vuyictrbjovtfcybugxrrx!
How do you trick a camel jockey into drinking a bottle of watermelon schnapps?
Pour watermelon seeds into a bottle of watermelon schnapps.
You have been accused of stealing toilet rolls. How do you plead?
Guilty or not guilty?
how old are my girlfriends
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EjBTsoYph48 oh and there my little sisters
One day, little Johnny and little Susan were in bible class. Little Susan had been tired that day, so she kept falling asleep. The teacher said to little Susan, "Who is our Lord and Savior?" Little Johnny poked her in the butt with a push pin, and she yelled, "Jesus Christ!" The teacher goes, "That's right, go back to bed." Then, the next thing the teacher asked was, "Who gave up their son for our sins?" Little Johnny poked her again, and she yelled, "God Almighty!" The teacher says, "That's right, go back to bed." The next question the teacher asked was, "What did Adam say to Eve after their 13th child?" Little Johnny poked her in the butt again. She yelled, "If you stick that thing in me again, I am going to break it in half and shove it up your own ass and see how you like it!"
How do you get a hippie chick pregnant?
You cum on her feet and let the flies do the rest.
How do you make a dishwasher work again?
Smack her ass and say "get back to work!"