Hows jokes
Me imagining how Batman's hairline looks like.
Nobody: Me: His hairline kinda do look like a Batman symbol.
Jonny went fishing and he didn’t know how to cast his pole, and he asked his friend Joe how to cast it. Then when he cast, he only cast 3 feet, and he never learned how to do it.
Somebody asks me: How many YT subs you got?
Me: More than you!
1, 2, 3, A, B, C, D, and there's a D in it and there's also a 3. That's how long your D is!
How many midgets does it take to change a lightbulb?
Three, because it’s the normal person's height.
How did the gay man die? Homicide.
How do you kidnap Stephen Hawking?
Shut off his computer.
Me: How do you celebrate Christmas?
Orphan: I don't know what you mean.
Me: There is no one to give a present.
How does a donkey open a door?
With a don-key.
This is how to die soft 101.
Yo bro, you good? You need a hug?
*Shotguns in a nutshell*
2B: MUST.
4B: ADD.
6B: MORE.
12B: *B A R R E L S*
*And that's how multi-barrel shotguns were made.*
How does a train eat?
"Chew chew!"
How does an emo greet people?
“What’s down?”
DB: I'm the only shotgun with more than 1 barrel!
Lancaster: Are you sure about that?
DB: huh?
Lancaster: I have 4 barrels!
DB: WHAT!?
Penta Barrel: I got 5!
DB: *insert becoming uncanny*
Dual Hexagon shotgun: I got 12!
The others: HOW!?
*and that's how an argument started.*
How many thots have I bullied?
Three. The rest are dead.
How does an orphan call his parents?
"..."
How come Mr. Squirrel watches porn sometimes?
Sometimes he feels like a nut, sometimes he don't.
My mom said that being straight is good, but if you're straight, how do you walk? So I decided to be gay.
For all those Simpsons fans out there, this one I'm sure you know:
Abe: "It's rotten being old. No one listens to you."
Lisa: "It's awful being a kid. No one listens to you."
Homer: "I'm a white male, aged 18-49. Everyone listens to me--no matter how dumb my suggestions are."
According to unofficial sources, a new simplified income-tax form contains only four lines:
1. What was your income for the year?
2. What were your expenses?
3. How much have you left?
4. Send it in.