Hows jokes
How much did the liver weigh?
It weighed a skeleTON.
How did the Iron and Gold start dating?
They met on TINder.
How did Stephen Hawking die?
Someone pulled his ethernet cable (he died of a blue screen)!
How many degreeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeees does Billy Corgan have?
1979.
How did the toilet react when it received a gift?
That was so pot full (thoughtful)!
The other day someone stole my mood ring. I don't know how to feel about that.
How does a skeleton kill a bug?
They SOCKET!
What are you doing, son? It has been an hour, and you are still in front of the mirror closing your eyes.
Mum, actually I want to see how I look while sleeping...
How did Steven Hawking die?
He blew a fuse doing an update.
Hey John, how are you going?
Helium, yeah good, what about you?
(Hey Liam)
Walk up to an adopted kid and ask this, "How's your biological parents? Are they well?"
How did Hitler like his portobello mushrooms?
Jewcy.
If a gay male is married to a well-endowed, physically challenged gay male that has been sleeping in bed for three hours nonstop, and he wants him to wake up so he can fix him his morning breakfast, how does he wake him up?
Wake up sleeping Jesus by giving him a blowjob.
How is the world like a box of crayons?
Nobody likes the white ones.
And a side note, it's multi colored.
It's fucked up how people make these jokes, and when orphans read them, it makes them feel worse about themselves. I should know, I'm an orphan.
"Rajesh get on bus, so many people, squeeze here squeeze there. He daydream about naughty stuff, like coffee spill but not coffee. Bus move, stop, he press close to pretty lady, she smell nice. Rajesh think how funny if something else spill, make whole bus ride wild." He laugh to self, bus ride never boring now!
How do you fit three gay guys on a bar stool?
Flip it upside down.
How do Asian people name their children?
They throw a pan down the stairs.
What would your name be? Msg it to @chelsearosegraham.
CEO Intrepid entrepreneur born in 1964, Jeffrey, Jeffrey Bezos.
Repeat, come on Jeffrey, you can do it, pave the way, put your back into it, tell us why, show us how, look at where you came from, look at you now.
Zuckerberg and Gates and Musk, they're the anchors, can make and sick it up there with drink their blood, come on Jeff get it! Dododoododododod
"Tibia" honestly, I think the reason I’m "bonely" is because you guys don’t find my jokes "humerus."
Maybe if I played the trombone it would get people’s attention, but "tibia" honest I can’t be bothered, so just look at my "BONE-zai" tree, although my brother doesn’t really like that one, so how about a "S-pine" tree?