Hows jokes
Hi, welcome to David’s sperm bank. You jack it, we pack it. How may I help you?
How many bisexuals does it take to change a light bulb?
Depends, are you AC or DC? However many turn you on.
Uranus be like, "Oh look, I'm Uranus. Imagine how disgusted I feel."
How do terrorists feed their children?
"Here comes the airplane!"
How did Rihanna know that Chris Brown was cheating on her? There was a different color of lipstick on his knuckles.
Why are the same Sally jokes told over and over again? Because how can you tell jokes about someone who's dead?
How do you cut ancient Rome in half?
With a pair of Caesars.
Why do orphans not know how to play baseball?
Because they cannot find home.
How do you stop a baby from drowning?
Take your foot off its head.
I asked the gym instructor,
"Can you teach me to do the splits?"
"How flexible are you?" he asked.
"Well, I can't make it on Fridays."
How do you rape a girl?
By doing a tornado kick to your head since you stupid kids like rape jokes!
Put Helen Keller in George Floyd's position. How would she cry out for help? Would she just moan, or would she try to do sign language?
"Shout out to entity...welcome to hell!"
"Every time I see your icon I vomit lol."
"Get a life... hey I'm violet olivegarden how can I help you if you need me to disc someone ill help..."
How to kick a deaf person off the plane:
Step 1: Pretend to yell and get some friends to do it, too.
Step 2: Tell your friends to raise both of their hands.
Step 3: He's out of the plane on a parachute.
Hey, I’m George, and this is how to figure out if someone is a psychopath.
Go into someone’s search history, and find “Cuphead ship fanfic”.
Hey George, why do you have Russia x America countryhumans?
How do you keep a blind kid entertained?
You take him to a stadium crowd, then give him a bat and tell him to hit the piñata.
How can you make an Otter Pop become funny?
Take your shotgun and make an otter go "pop!"
How come the toilet paper could not make it across the road?
Because of the Corona Virus.
Pedophile: You dropped your candy.
Girl: Thanks!
Pedophile stares as she slowly bends over to pick up her candy.
Pedophile: It looks a bit dirty, do you wanna come back to my house and get a new one?
Girl: How far is your house?
Pedophile: It's that white one right over there.
Girl: You mean that van next to a dumpster?
Pedophile: Yep, it's that one.
Girl:.... Sure! :P
Audience:.........Dumbass girl.
How many altar boys does it take to screw in a light bulb? Depends on how dark the priests' basement is.