Hows jokes
Two lepers meet on the street.
First says "How are you doing?"
Second says "Mustn't crumble!"
How have you been recently?
Oh, just playing some Rhydon.
What’s Rhydon?
Rhydon deez nutz!
This is how to die soft 101.
Yo bro, you good? You need a hug?
How do you win an argument against an emo kid?
Kick the chair out from under them.
How many Polish people does it take to change a light bulb?
One. But you need 5000 Soviet troops in case he goes on strike!
Memes
According to unofficial sources, a new simplified income-tax form contains only four lines:
1. What was your income for the year?
2. What were your expenses?
3. How much have you left?
4. Send it in.
How do astronauts have a party?
They planet.
1: Hey.
2: What?
1: We're outta paint.
2: *HMM*
(And that's how stop signs have extra paint.)
Hey D.K., how are you? :)
Love you!
Your loved one dies and you call the Coroner's office. They answer, "Hello, this is Benny from the Coroner's office, you stab 'em, we slab 'em, how may I be of service?"
How does a donkey open a door?
With a don-key.
How does a train eat?
"Chew chew!"
For all those Simpsons fans out there, this one I'm sure you know:
Abe: "It's rotten being old. No one listens to you."
Lisa: "It's awful being a kid. No one listens to you."
Homer: "I'm a white male, aged 18-49. Everyone listens to me--no matter how dumb my suggestions are."
How many thots have I bullied?
Three. The rest are dead.
How come Mr. Squirrel watches porn sometimes?
Sometimes he feels like a nut, sometimes he don't.
How does an emo greet people?
“What’s down?”
DB: I'm the only shotgun with more than 1 barrel!
Lancaster: Are you sure about that?
DB: huh?
Lancaster: I have 4 barrels!
DB: WHAT!?
Penta Barrel: I got 5!
DB: *insert becoming uncanny*
Dual Hexagon shotgun: I got 12!
The others: HOW!?
*and that's how an argument started.*
*Shotguns in a nutshell*
2B: MUST.
4B: ADD.
6B: MORE.
12B: *B A R R E L S*
*And that's how multi-barrel shotguns were made.*
How does an orphan call his parents?
"..."
My mom said that being straight is good, but if you're straight, how do you walk? So I decided to be gay.