Hows jokes
Chuck Norris gets paid $2 million a month training Bear Grylls how to survive in the “harshest conditions on earth.”
How do you know if a homophobic woman that is a Christian nationalist and Catholic is poor enough she would be desperate enough to do anything to pay her bills?
she would be willing to perform anilingus and cunnilingus on women regardless of their sexual orientation in the LGBT community.
This Chinese girl didn't know what a sausage roll was, so I replied, "It's like a spring roll with sausage in it, but not any dog or cat how you have it."
One day my sister was making hotdogs. My sister asked me if I wanted some. I said no. Then my sister asked my friend, and he always said no.
Then my sister said I have to eat it plain with no flavor. We have no ketchup, mustard, or onions. My friend said I got something to give it flavor. My sister said, "Okay."
My sister left the kitchen to get something. I asked my friend what are you going to do. Then he took the hotdog bread, opened it, and ran his penis all around it, and put some white cream that came out of his penis. I put the hotdogs on the bread. Then my sister came back and put hotdogs on the hotdog bread. I told my sister the hotdogs are ready. She ate them. I asked how were the hotdogs. My sister said, "I don’t know what flavor is this, but it is very tasty."
How did Stephen Hawking die?
His computer got a virus.
Memes
How do you get a depressed girl to suck your dick?
Pour bleach on it.
How do you tell the difference between a Communist and everybody else? The way they are spelled.
How are shark eggs and your mom the same? They're both the biggest thing ever laid.
How many cats are in the human body?
None, unless you're Asian.
How to give a good hand job?
Bop it. Pull it. Twist it. Harder. Better. Faster. Stronger. You put your left hand in. You put your left hand out. You put your left hand in and shake it all about.
None of you ever touch my penis.
It's weird how Stephen Hawking's last name sounds like "walking and talking," but he could not do either of those!
How do you find a redneck virgin?
Just look for a 4-year-old. They can run faster than her brothers.
How do you turn a straight guy into a gay guy? Well... for starters, you grab that ass of his, drag him into the bathroom, and tell him to suck my long, big pineapple, and thus you have yourself one straight guy converted into a dick-sucking machine.
A Japanese man goes to the dentist. After being there for a while, the dentist asks, "How often do you floss your teeth?"
The Jap said, "After every meal." When they finish up, the dentist turns to him and says, "You need to floss your eyes more. I can still see them."
How do you make Olaf hard? You tickle his snowballs.
How is a beer can and an Indian the same? You can find them both smashed on the side of the road!
How do you find out the price of an emo? You scan his barcode.
Is your mom a virgin?
Mine is.
How am I alive?
You tell me.
Q: How did Helen Keller break her wrist?
A: Reading road signs.
How can a gay man that is unemployed be productive in the workplace?
Give a blowjob to other gay men in the workplace for money.