Hows jokes
How are shark eggs and your mom the same? They're both the biggest thing ever laid.
How do you get a depressed girl to suck your dick?
Pour bleach on it.
How to give a good hand job?
Bop it. Pull it. Twist it. Harder. Better. Faster. Stronger. You put your left hand in. You put your left hand out. You put your left hand in and shake it all about.
None of you ever touch my penis.
How many cats are in the human body?
None, unless you're Asian.
How do you find a redneck virgin?
Just look for a 4-year-old. They can run faster than her brothers.
Memes
experiment
How do you turn a straight guy into a gay guy? Well... for starters, you grab that ass of his, drag him into the bathroom, and tell him to suck my long, big pineapple, and thus you have yourself one straight guy converted into a dick-sucking machine.
I know how to cut down on Medicare expenses.
Lock Alzheimer's patients in dog cages when they misbehave.
How do you get a Pikachu on a bus?
You poke it on.
A man is telling his story to someone. "My friends always said that they would kill me if I wore Gucci or Supreme. On April 1st, I wore both and conversed with them."
"Interesting."
"That's the story of how I got to the morgue," he says to The Gatekeeper of Heaven.
Question: How did the cat cross the river?
Answer: It didn’t, it drowned.
What did the mechanic say to the other mechanic when he broke the car?
"How will we wrench ourselves out of this?"
How do you leave an idiot in suspense? I'll tell you tomorrow!
You know the difference between happy tailgaters and angry tailgaters?
Happy tailgaters know how to throw a party.
How do you call an iPhone cover in Germany?
An apple bag. 😜
Q: How do you know if an Asian broke into your house?
A: All your homework and the Rubik's cube you spent a year on and still can’t solve is solved. 🤓🤓🤓🤓
How do butts stay cool in the summer?
They stay in crack conditioning.
How do you turn a hairy man into a feminist?
Just take out his brain and there you go!
Yo momma's so fat, she doesn't know how to play bacon.
How can you tell a blonde likes you? She ducks you two nights in a row.
Kid: Mom, do trees poop?
Mom: Yes. That is how we get #2 pencils.