Hows jokes
How did Stephen Hawking die?
He rolled away and his charger unplugged.
Every single person on the plane died except for 2. How is that possible?
It said all the single people died; the 2 were a couple. That's how it was possible.
"Hi, honey, how do you want buns?"
How does Moses make his tea?
He Brews!!!
Hi Mom, how are you doing?
How did the man in prison escape?
He drew a bum on the wall and slid through the crack.
A man went into a library to get a book on how to commit suicide.
The librarian said, "No, you won't bring it back."
How many letters are in the English Alphabet?
Twenty-two. ET went home, P ran down his leg, and he took ME with him.
How do you know if a snowman is a girl or a boy?
A: Snowballs.
How do you fix a broken gorilla?
With a monkey wrench.
How do fuck a really fat chick?
Roll her in flour and look for the wet spot.
Hello everyone! I just came back! How are things going?
How did 10 die?
Because it was in between 9 and 11.
Friend: How's it going?
Me: Good, things are good!
Parent: How are you?
Me: Oh, I'm fine!
Twitter: Compose new tweet?
Me: Hellooooo, I would like to tell you about my anxiety & my current greatest fears & let's talk about the impending apocalypse while we're at it.
I saw your mom at work the other night. She was talking about how good she was doing.
Hands down, best $20 blowjob ever.
This guy came into my library a year ago and borrowed a book named "How to Commit Suicide." He never returned it.
How is a woman like a road?
They both have manholes.
Looking for true love. Must be into fun, likes to go out driving, playing the latest catching game and most importantly, must love kids. (PEADOPHILES MUST APPLY WITH HOW MANY KIDS YOU CAN CARRY!)
Guy: Hi, how was your day today?
Woman: Good!
Guy: *Well I can’t ask her out cause she’s pregnant*
Guy: How many months pregnant are you?
Woman: What to you mean?!?! Also, I’m not pregnant.
Hello, everyone, how is your day today?