Hows jokes
I went to a book store yesterday and I saw a book that said "how to solve 50% of your problems." So I bought 2.
How to get rid of non-vaccinators: call water a "dehydration vaccine."
How do you see past that forehead?
How does an orange 🍊 go into a crowded restaurant?
By squeezing his way in.
How dare you people make 9/11 jokes? It's just "plane" rude!
I saw your mom at work the other night. She was talking about how good she was doing.
Hands down, best $20 blowjob ever.
Friend: How's it going?
Me: Good, things are good!
Parent: How are you?
Me: Oh, I'm fine!
Twitter: Compose new tweet?
Me: Hellooooo, I would like to tell you about my anxiety & my current greatest fears & let's talk about the impending apocalypse while we're at it.
What's the time?
How would I know?
How did Steven Hawking die?
He forgot his log on password.
How did Stephen Hawking die?
Windows didn’t update in time.
"Hi, honey, how do you want buns?"
How do you know if a snowman is a girl or a boy?
A: Snowballs.
How does the earth rate its sex?
Earthquake, Cataclysm, Volcano explosion, Earth's core explodes.
If the earth's core explodes, then he got tore up!
What's white and annoying at breakfast? An avalanche.
Why did little Suzy fall off the swing? She got hit by an axe.
Why did little Billy drop his ice cream? He got hit by a bus.
How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.
How do lions 🦁 like their steak?
"Roar!"
I have a better version of this joke.
How to make a plumber cry: Simple, kill his family. That’ll definitely turn on the waterworks.
This guy came into my library a year ago and borrowed a book named "How to Commit Suicide." He never returned it.
How did 10 die?
Because it was in between 9 and 11.
How is toilet paper recycled?
Easier than you would think, but first they have to process the crap out of it.
How many balls do you have on your body?
2. Your butt.