Hows jokes
Person: So you know that person's name you say when you make a hoop, well he's dead.
Friend: Yeah, John Wilkes Booth.
Person: How dare you say that he killed Abraham Lincoln?
Friend: Terrible guy but he never missed a shot!
Little Jonny, what you like airplane? How? Because you fly fast and jump high.
I'm really worried for Stephen Hawking, 'cause how is he going to climb the stairway to Heaven?
How are abortion and rape different? At least the rape victim usually deserves it and isn't defenseless.
How does a cow become invisible? -- Through camooflage.
How did the digital clock show off to its mother?
Look, Ma, no hands!
[God creating the parrot] OK, HOW ABOUT A TYE-DYE CHICKEN THAT SCREAMS ACTUAL WORDS AT YOU?
How do you cut your grass without a lawnmower?
You dye it blue and it will cut itself.
How do trannies pass successfully? By passing away.
My pencil sharpener when I bleed:
And I don't really care how bad it hurts. Cause you broke me first.
How to cure boredom:
If you're bored, punch an orphan. What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?
What’s the difference between how you watch porn and I watch porn?
The windows we watch through.
How many skinny people can fit in a tub? I don't know; they keep slipping down the drain.
How do you make a blow job OSHA compliant? You add a railing!
Once Roblox popped up in my server, be like, "Roblox, what are you doing?"
Me: "What the heck?" Me: "How did I get in your server?"
Roblox: "You've been banned for just cheating!"
How do you know someone is going to die?
He can't stop coughing. (coffin)
Stephen Hawking had a high I.Q., but still had to learn how to be disabled.
How do Asians name their kids?
They throw pots and pans down the stairs. (ching chong dong)
A kid went to visit his bully, and he says, "How's your face?" The kid says, "How's your parents?" and proceeds to walk out of the orphanage.
Me when people ask how old my girlfriends are:
"There's 2, there're 4, there're 6, there're 8."