Hows Jokes

How did the blind boy's parents punish him?

Rearrange the furniture.

Me: How do cowboys say hello?

Friend: Howdy.

Me: How do deez nuts fit in your mouth?

How did the emo kid compliment the other emo kid? He said, "I like your cuts G."

How do you scare a lot of people in New York?

Open a mobile hotspot named "Delta Inflight Wifi."

How on God's green earth does my boyfriend have a phone?

JK WE NEED TO TALK ILL TYPE THE SECRET CODE (YOU'LL KNOW WHAT IT MEANS.) GREEN PUSSY CAT LIKES BANNANS.

joanna be like

The image shows two side-by-side pictures of Mrs. Doubtfire. On the left, under the text "how I say bye to my friends", she waves goodbye. On the right, under the text "how I say bye to my best friends", she is flipping the bird.

Imagine you go to school, right? You hit the curve, the bus driver be like, "Ahhh, how do I stop the bus?" Students from the bus jump from the windows. One of the students: "That's a YOU problem."

How do you talk to giants? Using big words.

What is it called when an orphan takes a selfie?

A family photo.

Jordan, you stupid ass! Addison never bothered you so leave her the FUCK alone! How about this? Get up, go outside, stop being a jackass, and get a fucking life!

I named my cousin's parrot Michell, and then I started to call Mikey "Mikey", right? I'm starting to teach my cousin Sammy how to say "Mikey Mikey" and he says "mekiy meiky" 😆

How did Gertie Gorilla make the Playboy magazine?

She was ape-ril!

How does a non-binary ninja kill someone?

They slash them.

A student asked a teacher, "How do you pronounce this word? It's spelled A-L-L-I-E-D."

The teacher was about to answer, but then the student said, "Actually, I know how to pronounce it. I lied!" (allied)

How can a guy do stand up comedy in a wheelchair?

How do you recycle a condom? Turn it inside out and shake the f *ck out of it!

Hey Gwen, how are you? I'm a girl, btw...;)

Q: How can you tell if a Western is gay?

A: All the good guys are hung.

How much wood can a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? If you woodchuck on the world with that, you have a really deep in, and he says goodbye. When he says goodbye, you're like, "if you."