Hows

Hows jokes

Gun

Q: How do you punish a blind person?

A: Give them a gun and tell them it's a hairdryer.

Stroke

My 1 year old nephew had a stroke. I know, sounds bad... but he would have needed to learn how to speak and walk anyways.

Opposition

Q: How do you know when someone is an opposition leader to Putin?

A: When they are falling from their balcony.

Steak

Chef: “How did you enjoy your steak, sir?”

Customer: “I asked for it medium rare, but it’s well done!”

Chef: “Why thank you.”

Customer: “You don’t understand, the steak is well done!”

Chef: “Of course it is, I made it.”

Funeral Home

(Phone call) This is Frank's funeral home and grill, where yesterday's grief is today's beef. How may we help you?

Guy

Think about how many more girls we guys could get if we talked to them how we talk to other guys, like when they say, "Can I borrow a pencil?" You say, "You can borrow this hard wood dick."

Orphan

Kid 123, how's downline Orphan what? Home! 😂😂😂😂😂 Sorry.

Nut

Me: How do cowboys say hello?

Friend: Howdy.

Me: How do deez nuts fit in your mouth?

Emo kid

How did the emo kid compliment the other emo kid? He said, "I like your cuts G."

People

How do you scare a lot of people in New York?

Open a mobile hotspot named "Delta Inflight Wifi."

Phone

How on God's green earth does my boyfriend have a phone?

JK WE NEED TO TALK ILL TYPE THE SECRET CODE (YOU'LL KNOW WHAT IT MEANS.) GREEN PUSSY CAT LIKES BANNANS.