Hows jokes
How many redheads does it take to change a lightbulb?
One! She holds the bulb and the world revolves around her.
How many animals can you fit in a pair of underpants?
A. A cock and a few hairs (hares).
One day, I saw a kid beating up a fat kid. But a cop came out of nowhere and threw the bully off him. The cop then asked the bully, "Why are you beating him up?" I responded, saying, "I'm fighting obesity; no children should suffer from diabetes and heart disease." Then, the cop pulled out a gun and fired, afterwards saying, "Well, how did I do?"
How are abortion and rape different? At least the rape victim usually deserves it and isn't defenseless.
A cowboy rides into a ranch on Sunday, stays three days, and leaves on Friday. How is this possible?
Okay, so I know this is not a joke, but I wanted to take some time to say if you have autism, you are still amazing. You are lovely in every way, and if people bully you, don't listen because they are wrong. You are cute, and I know how it feels. I have ADHD, and I get bullied a lot, but I don't let that get to me because I know what they are saying is wrong and not true. People with autism, stay strong; you got this. I will be your friend by heart, even if it's not in person.
These people who are offended by rape jokes don’t even understand humor. They think of humor as like a happy thing because humor makes us laugh and laughter makes us happy, but most of the jokes that we laugh at are filled with pain and suffering. If I take a joke like, how many police officers does it take to change a light bulb? None, they just beat the room for being black. Now that joke isn’t making light of the fact that people have marched in the civil rights movement and people have been racially discriminated against. It’s not making light of those, what it’s doing is it’s taking that pain and suffering and making you transcend it for a moment, and showing the absurdity of the human mind, and that is important. Humor at its best takes the bad things in this world that are painful and hard to deal with and makes it something funny.
And before you go in the comments and say I agree with rape, I don’t. I hope everybody who rapes someone to have their dick cut off. My little sister got fucking raped when she was six, and the guy is lucky he got caught by the police and not me, cause if I caught I would have fucking killed him, so I don’t agree with rape, but I still think rape jokes should still not be taken so seriously!
Why did the rapper become a chef?
Because he knew how to cook up FRESH BEETS!
Damn boy, you must be Nick Cannon because you don’t know when or how to stop.
How does Daveon like his coffee? Decaf-eon.
How are women like swimming pools?
They cost a great deal of money to maintain considering the time you spend inside.
How many children does Explain Bear have?
How many belly rolls does Explain Bear have?
How do you know when you have been invited to a gay barbecue?
When you are unable to distinguish foot-long hot dogs from long and thick big dicks, regardless of skin color.
How can you tell if your husband is dead?
The sex is the same, but you get to use the remote.
No matter how lonely you get, you have Explain Bear.
Explain Bear is always there for you.
How does a skeleton call his friends?
On the tele-bone!
How many CIA agents does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
They don't need lightbulbs--they glow in the dark.
When I was recently standing in front of a huge puddle with my buddy, I remembered how he tricked me a week ago. So I tricked him...
One way to not pick up a girl is to say, “Are you an American school because I wanna shoot kids into you?” I tried it on a girl, and she is now terrified to come near me.
How was I supposed to know she was already pregnant?