I'd tell a joke about how my mom was abusive, but I either forgot everything, or she just wasn't there.
Hows Jokes
Why are orphans so skinny?
They never learned how to home cook.
How is sex like air?
It’s not a big deal unless you aren’t getting any.
How much does a chimney cost?
It's free cause it's on the house.
Short girl: "How do you see up there?"
Tall guy: "Who said that?"
I spit my drink out and then ran away.
How do Chinese people name their baby? They throw pots down the stairs: bing bong ching chong.
How do you say "fish" without the "i"?
Fsh
How many emo kids does it take to screw in a light bulb?
None, they just sit in the dark and cry.
- The emo went to give the tree a high five, but the emo was left hanging.
- How did the gay person die? Homicide.
- Why did the emo get kicked out of the amusement park? He was cutting in line.
- When does a joke turn into a dad joke? When it leaves and never comes back.
- I cried when my dad chopped onions. Onions was such a good dog.
- I have happy memories building sandcastles with my dad, until my mom took his urn away.
- How is the person over there different from cancer? His dad didn't beat cancer.
How did Santa feel when he got stuck in the chimney?
Claus-trophobic.
Um, I need help. How should I deal with depression?
Joke: I wish my grass was emo, so it would cut itself.
How did the lesbian die? Homicide.
How did the gay man die? Homicide.
Q: How tall was Hitler's grass? A: *Hitler salute* about this high!
My pencil sharpener when I bleed:
And I don't really care how bad it hurts. Cause you broke me first.
It's funny how teachers are supposed to educate new lives, but only teach certain kids how much they want to commit suicide and how many ways there are.
It's funny how you feel so alone with depression, and yet once you tell people on some random website, so many people relate. Unfortunately, it doesn't stop the loneliness.
How to respond if someone starts looking at the photos on your phone.
Step 1: Jab your thumbs into their eye sockets.
Suicide is just freedom, life is just full of pain... Sometimes if you're gone maybe somebody might notice. Feels like life is a maze and the only way to leave is the exit. Nobody notices your pain, your suffering, and that you try your best though everyone notices your mistakes. Life just feels like everyone hates you. Life for me is just faking smiles, I'm not sure how everyone lives such a good life.
(To a thief) If you like taking things, how about you take my life?
